I sometimes surprise myself by how fast I can get over things and I am not sure if that’s good or bad. For the past couple of months I have been stressing and trying to get everything prepared for my study abroad journey. I was fundraising, filling out the tons of paperwork involved, and just making sure I had everything together. At the beginning of this month I started running into problems with my expenses being covered and had to figure out how I was going to go with the new challenges arising. I prayed on it and asked God for everything to go well but I’ve learned that if he doesn’t want it to happen then no matter how hard you pray it just won’t. Of course I was angry at first and developed a slight hate towards everything around me but I had to ask myself “what good is this doing”. Sometimes we want things so bad that we don’t examine all aspects of it. I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been and all the research that should have been done beforehand was being done at the last minute. Although this was something I wanted to do I dived in head first because it sounded good when I should have sat down and went over every single detail. This was a learning experience for me and I now know what to do for future references. It was also something I wasn’t meant to do at this time because God has other plans for me. I can use the time that I would have been gone to focus on building myself up and working on the goals I have set for this summer.
“Wherever my story takes me, however dark and difficult the theme, there is always some hope and redemption, not because readers like happy endings, but because I am an optimist at heart. I know the sun will rise in the morning, that there is a light at the end of every tunnel.” -Michael Morpurgo
I’ve had my time to be mad and upset about not being able to take this opportunity but I know something better awaits me in the near future. I will study abroad but now is not the time and when the time does come I will be ready.
This is a prayer that we said for Litany during my stay at Cristo Rey and it relates to not only immigration but hope overall:
Litany of Solidarity
To have hope
Is to believe that history continues open
To the dream of God and to human creativity.
To have hope
Is to continue affirming
That it is possible to dream a different world,
Without hunger, without injustice,
Without discrimination.
To have hope
Is to be a courier of God
And courier of men and women of good will,
Tearing down walls, destroying borders,
Building bridges.
To have hope
Is to believe in the revolutionary potential of faith,
Is to leave the door open so that
The spirit can enter and make all things anew.
To have hope
Is to believe that life wins over death.
To have hope
Is to begin again as many times as necessary.
To have hope
Is to believe that hope is not
The last thing that dies.
To have hope
Is to believe that hope cannot die,
That hope no longer dies.
To have hope
Is to live.
No matter the situation or circumstances, big or small. Have hope that you will get through it and that better things will come your way. There will be days when life kicks you down and you can’t see the good in anything but it’s up to you to stand up and choose to have hope and faith. I often struggle with the purpose of my blog and I look at the amount of views and ask myself why they aren’t where I want them to be. Then I remember that it’s not about the views but whether there’s one person out there in the world looking at what I write and being able to take something away from it. I have hope that one day my words can make a difference.
Stay humble.
choose you always. 