The “PSE” Effect in Intimate Relationships

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All of you must be asking, “What is PSE?”

Let’s start with the P first…

PPride” – a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity,importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. 

Pride is good to an extent, you should take pride in your accomplishments but you don’t want it to come to a point where your pride is effecting your relationships. Can you say sorry when you are wrong? Can you own up to your mistakes? Can you take a step back and see the issue from a bigger standpoint and remove yourself from the limelight?  Pride and ego are one in the same, in both cases it’s all about “I” and not “WE”, neither should be an obstacle in your relationship. A healthy relationship has a balance, you should not find yourself always having to put your pride aside or making things easier for your partner, both people should be able to recognize and acknowledge when they are wrong. There is no relationship but more of a dictatorship if everything is always revolving around you and how you feel. There is no “I” in team and it takes more than one person to build a relationship. It is clear that no one wants to be the one who puts their “pride” aside and express how they feel in fear of their feelings not being reciprocated but to progress it has to be done.

SStubbornness  – fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute.

There are pros and cons to everything but stubbornness can be a very destructive trait. This is because stubborn people are very stuck in their ways and have a hard time seeing things from any point of view but their own. When you are stubborn you often have a hard time understanding where your partner is coming from because with understanding you need insight, and you can’t obtain that perspective when you can’t move past your own. Stubbornness also acts as a mental barrier  because it blocks a person from seeing and accepting a different or better alternative. Pride is a side effect of stubbornness and adds to a persons false sense of self. If your partner feels that their way is being accepted the more validated they feel and then the cycle goes on and on. Having a stubborn partner or being the stubborn partner can lead to arguments, frustration, withdrawal, and ultimately destruction of the relationship.

Being stubborn can be a good thing. Being stubborn can be a bad thing. It just depends on how you use it. – Willie Aames

EEgo” – the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought. 

Me, Me it’s all about ME. The ego can make a simple conversation go from 0-100 real quick. It will make you think you are being attacked which results in automatic defense mode. In order to make a relationship flourish you have to resist defending yourself and hear your partner out before you begin to speak. We are all ego-driven to an extent but we have to learn how to separate our ego from ourself when necessary. The ego has no concept of right or wrong and only strives to satisfy but it is up to us to identify when the ego is trying to protect itself by asserting negative behaviors towards others.

Pride, Stubbornness, and Ego’s can be deadly weapons.  In today’s society these three things are idolized so much that it shows in the way that people view relationships. Social media tells us being stubborn is cute and that we shouldn’t put our pride aside to communicate. It gives us a false view of love and relationship goals. Never let social media dictate how you feel or view relationships. No matter what, remember that communication is always key and a healthy balance of pride, ego, and stubbornness on both ends can result in an amazing relationship. Learn when to let go and when to let things be. 

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed and Stay Humble. 

 

 

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