The Conflicted Graduate – The Truth about College 

Graduating college is one of the greatest achievements one can experience. Months leading up to the momentous moment you feel every emotion, imagine what life will be like afterwards, and prepare to walk across the stage. Years leading up to that milestone you work your ass off, stress constantly, pull all nighters and sometimes don’t sleep for days. You put your mental health on the line stressing over school work, you drive yourself crazy wondering if you’ll pass that class you can’t seem to click with. You find yourself depressed on some days wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Should I pursue this major? Am I doing the right thing? Is college for me? You go through every doubt, every emotion, you go through it all.

College is nothing like the movies portray, especially if you come from a low income household and one of your main concerns is how you’re going to afford it. Majority of the time you find yourself making constant trips to your advisor, financial aid office, and professors to make sure you’re in good standing. You find yourself wanting to pull your hair out when finals are approaching and you realize your professors and middle school teachers taught you nothing but how to temporarily memorize material for exams. You start doubting your potential, you start doubting yourself. Classes start to be dropped, you try to stick it out until the withdraw or add/drop period rolls around but you can’t you have to save your GPA. You resent your professors, start procrastinating with work. You drag yourself out of the bed each day dreading the lecture you’re about to attend. Don’t forget the bullshit classes you have to take that has nothing to do with your major. Most people also work while in college and God forbid you’re taking 18 credits and trying to juggle a job. Let’s not even talk about the loans you’ll be paying back. But we all go to college for a reason right?

Yes, we were all sold the dream of better opportunities and good money waiting to be made once we graduate. So what’s life like once you reach that milestone of walking the stage and receiving your degree? Do you automatically get a job? Is there a bag of money with your name on it waiting for you?

No, no, and more No’s! Life after graduation is just another series of stressful events and once again you find yourself questioning if all of the stress you put yourself through was worth it. Most graduates find themselves living with their parents desperately trying to find a job and a way to secure themselves financially. Life doesn’t just fall into place for a lot of people. I know we’ve all heard those stories of people attending college and working a bullshit job for the rest of their lives. That’s just how life unfolds but it doesn’t have to be that way…

I graduated college this past May, approximately a month ago to be exact. It was one of the most exciting days of my life! For most people after graduation was full of partying and planning summer trips. For me, I was mentally searching for a way to make money and quick. Unfortunately, I found myself among the sea of people who struggles hard after they graduate. No money, no job, putting the burden of my life on my parents. After thoroughly searching I found a job that has nothing to do with my major at all. I majored in Psychology and a month after graduation I’m one of those people who calls your phone bugging you about buying something. Yup, inside sales. Now, my job pays really good but it’s temporary so there’s no telling what life will be like in 5 months. Should I be happy I graduated or upset because of the hard work and dedication I put in to end up here?

But who can I blame for this life that I find myself living? I got a sold a dream and I brought it, spent my last penny to invest in my education. College isn’t all it’s cracked up to be but the feeling you get when you walk across that stage is impeccable but it’s temporary. Once the high fades away and you come down from your cloud you find yourself facing the harsh reality of trying to make a way for yourself in a system that taught you 2+3 but not what to do when life hits you.

No one teaches you how to react when bills are due and you don’t have $10 to your name. No one teaches you how to stop stressing over how horrible you did on an assignment or how that job never called you back. No one teaches you how to get over the fact that no matter how hard you worked to achieve that thing you wanted, it’s just not happening.

No one teaches you how to live. Life doesn’t stop when you leave school or work. You can’t clock out and pick back up tomorrow or next week. Life doesn’t stop when we choose to quit or give up. Life just happens and we are left to deal with it. Life is self-taught. When you’re laying in bed at night and having a conversation with yourself it’s you who teaches YOU how to live. How to get over that heartbreak, how to deal with the emotions you are feeling. How to be YOU. No one can teach us how to be ourselves. Or how to deal with our emotions or struggles. Sure a parent can guide you but they can only do so much. As much as it can be overwhelming the weight is always on US as individuals. There’s no “how to” on life and there’s nothing that can dictate our decisions and choices unless we allow it to.

So what is college? A book of lies waiting to be brought. I hate school, but love education. Be patient in your journey, things may not fall right into place but in due time you will get the abundance of blessings that are in store for you. Keep pushing, keep striving, keep your faith in yourself high.

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble.

embedAlso, check out my latest post on my first two self-published books “Behind the Books“.

P.S. We hit 13k views on the blog last month, thanks for the continuous support. Check out myYouTube channel if you have the time.

Published by breyanaa

If given the chance, everyone has a story to tell. My name is Breyana I'jae, I am a 25 year old Temple University Psychology graduate, blogger, visionary, artist, creator, self published author, mama, jack of all trades, and lover of many things. 
When I first started this blog in 2013 my goal was to share My Story in hopes of inspiring someone else, I didn't know where it would go, how people would perceive it or what to really do, I just know I lived by the motto, Uplift, Empower, & Inspire.

While those goals still remain my blog will now be a place to promote self-love and self-care but that's not all. Come take a look to see what it offers.

Share your Thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: