Dear Men, is Hair Really That Important?

So I’m scrolling through Instagram a little while ago and came across this picture on my explore page. The guy who posted it expressed his sentiments saying the guy wasn’t wrong in a nutshell and that although the woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her hair, making the decision without consulting her partner would be a bad idea.

He wrote quite a lengthy caption mostly stating that if she had discussed it prior and the guy made it clear he wouldn’t be attracted then she doesn’t care enough to make the relationship work. He noted that “love is not unconditional in romantic relationships” and that staying attractive to your partner is a condition for a man to want to stay with a woman. Now, his caption is not what got me heated, me being curious as to what others were saying decided to scroll through the comments. People were saying things like “Women need to understand men are visual and that’s a drastic change,” “People have sh*t they are attracted to. So ok suppose to go my entire life not being fulfilled cause u wanted to do some stupid dumb sh*t? Makes no sense. You will forever get cheated on,” “It’s disrespectful though that she cut off her hair without consulting him first. That would be my biggest problem

Trust me when I say there were worst comments but not all were bad, a few people had no trouble expressing the opposite opinion saying ‘Wait till your wife isn’t attracted to you after your hairline backs up a few inches and your balls drop down to your knees. I’m sure it’ll be like “but this is different” (I would love to be friends with this person btw) “So what exactly is she there for? To look good?” A lot of people felt that the guy would be wrong to leave his girlfriend and that he would be shallow to do so because if you love someone looks shouldn’t be a defying factor after you reach a certain point.

Now, I take two different stances on this matter.

  1. As a woman I feel like I have the right to do whatever the hell I want with my hair regardless of who likes it or not. If I chose to cut all of my hair off would I want my partner to like it? Yeah sure, but if he doesn’t then he can either (A. get over it and let the look grow on him until he likes it, or B. Get the stepping if it’s that big of a deal) Physical attraction is important I can’t deny that, if you grow to like one particular look on someone and they go and change it then of course it will cause rifts in the relationship but should it cause a breakup? Guess it depends on how big of a part physical appearance/attraction plays in the relationship. I feel like the whole reason you’re attracted to someone should not be based off looks alone, if you break up with someone because of a hair cut then in my opinion you were never in love to begin with and don’t have the slightest idea as to what love is. It’s different per say if you are attracted to thin people and your partner starts gaining weight and letting themselves go physically, you can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone and it’s better to cut ties before you feel the need to cheat. BUT hair grows back, and depending on her reasoning for cutting her hair whether she just felt like it, or maybe she went natural, who knows. She’s not limited on just this one particular style, there are wigs, protective styling, etc.
  2. Cutting your hair off is drastic, running it by your partner would be a smart thing to do if you value your their opinion on your appearance. But in no way shape or form are you required to seek their “approval” if you want to cut your hair, CUT IT and deal with his opinion later, as I said before he can either like it, love it, or hate it, if he loves you enough he’ll stick around and learn to love it and look past it.

What do you guys think? Would he be wrong to leave her or is his actions justifiable?

I personally don’t see the big deal when it comes to hair and relationships as it’s something that’s very flexible and prone to change. If I was dating a guy with dreads and he cut his hair, although I’ve grown to like the look it’s not something I would leave the relationship over. I will say that regardless of the situation communications is ALWAYS important.

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble.


Be sure to check out my Motivational Monday post: “Self Care is Important

Also, check out my latest post on my first two self-published books “Behind the Books“.

P.S. We hit 13k views on the blog last month, thanks for the continuous support. Check out myYouTube channel if you have the time.

Published by breyanaa

If given the chance, everyone has a story to tell. My name is Breyana I'jae, I am a 25 year old Temple University Psychology graduate, blogger, visionary, artist, creator, self published author, mama, jack of all trades, and lover of many things. 
When I first started this blog in 2013 my goal was to share My Story in hopes of inspiring someone else, I didn't know where it would go, how people would perceive it or what to really do, I just know I lived by the motto, Uplift, Empower, & Inspire.

While those goals still remain my blog will now be a place to promote self-love and self-care but that's not all. Come take a look to see what it offers.

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