Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t.

Happy Sunday guys and welcome back to the blog. I usually try to refrain from speaking on celebrities much because people always tend to be too opinionated in their opinions as if they know the person personally. Well today, I’m making an exception. A few things have happened in the world of celebs that people have been commenting on. First and foremost we all know once things hit the internet it’s fair game in how people will react and what they will say, but lately I’ve been seeing so many ignorant and negative comments; at the end of the day the word “celebrity” does not mean “inhuman.”

Cardi B

If you have a social media account then by now you know the rumors have been circulating about Cardi B being pregnant for months. People were saying they hope it isn’t true because that would be stupid on her behalf, her career just started it’s not a good move, etc. Cardi B officially announced her pregnancy last night and people are having a ball  bashing her about it. I’m not sure when new life became such a disappointment but  people are weighing in with their opinions. Let me just give you guys a glimpse of the comments I’m seeing;

Sad face didn’t want her trapped

Right when her career finna pop off. Lmao dumb

Congrats. She is going to be a great single mom. #babygoals”

Damn so early in her career and relationship.”

What number baby mama is she?”

Congratulations! I wouldn’t exactly get pregnant this fast by a man that already has 3 or 4 kids idk, her career just now jumping off after ehhh idk a year I think but it’s her life! WEIRD but it’s hers I guess, tbh don’t think she’ll last in the music industry anyways especially since every little bad comment makes her so mad.”

Because she’s 25 years old. It’s too early for her to be pregnant. She’s at the peak of her career and now she’s about to have a baby? She’s gonna be super busy. Ain’t nobody got time for that. She should’ve told Offset to wrap it or she should’ve been on the pill. She should’ve got pregnant 3 or 5 years after the wedding.”

The last comment threw me for a loop because 25 is too early to be pregnant? She should’ve did this and that with her life?

People are truly something else. The list goes on, there are hundreds and thousands of comments just like these. You have people commenting on the fact that Offset cheated on her and she’s every negative name in the book for being pregnant by him. Did we forget that she’s engaged to him? AND her album that she just dropped went Gold. Regardless of what the public sees they have a life they live behind cameras. Beyonce got cheated on but everyone just loves the ground she walks on, I’ve seen some negative comments about her too but not nearly as much. There’s clearly bias based on popularity. Some celebs get a pass because of who they are. Cardi said herself “This is why I did not wanted to say nothing. People be so thirsty to scrutinize and try to destroy something that itsuppose to be a blessing.” She made a few typos when she posted and of course people ran with it and made even more comments on her grammar.

Don’t get me wrong, in the midst of all the negative there is an outpour of positive and people wishing her well. A lot of people are truly happy for her, she’s been very successful in her career as of lately and deserves all the blessings coming her way. My question is, when did it become okay to bash people for living their lives how they deem fit? The internet is filled with hypocrisy and people bashing others for similar or worse things they have done themselves. The moral being, people get really comfortable behind their mobile devices and speak ill on everything and everyone until it gets personal. Cardi genuinely looks happy and that’s all that matters, she’s made her decision and is doing what’s best for her and living her best life. 

Alexis Sky

If you don’t know who Alexis Sky is she was on Love & Hip Hop and dated and had a baby by rapper Fetty Wap. This is someone social media has had a field day with because of her drama with his other baby mama’s and the simple fact that she got pregnant by him. She also can’t seem to stop arguing with one particular baby mama (Masika) over the internet. Now Fetty has about 6 or 7 kids, a few of whom were born back to back, this is of course something people use against her. Alexis had her baby prematurely at 6 months, and she’s still in the hospital and has been for maybe the past 3 or 4 months. Her and Fetty haven’t been “a thing” for quite some time and apparently she has a new boo which she posted to social media a pic of just their hands holding saying “Mine”. Here are where the comments start:

“Boy I tell ya..heffas uterus don’t even been done went down n they have a new man..”

“Alexis be all over she don’t know if she wanna beef, catch CPS cases, get that Kitty patted or be mommy dearest”

“She just had a baby why she got a new boo. Smh”

“Can the baby at least get the discharge date first?”

“She just had a baby!!! She’s such a disgusting bum.” 

“When I got pregnant with my first, I left his father.. All my focus was on my son. Didn’t even have time to meet anyone and I was not one bit interested in doing so. Didn’t have a man until he was 4! How is it so easy for these woman to just move on to something new like its nothing?” 

“So many moms are starting new relationships before the baby even turns 1 smh. Guess she wants her to have an in house dad.”

A follow up comment to the last was “the father moved on also so why can’t she? You chatting cause you got a phone.” Is there really a time frame on when people can date after having a baby? I don’t keep up with her life to know whether or not she was dating anyone else before this post circulated but for all we know she could have been dating him while she was pregnant. We don’t know if he’s met her child or the nature of their relationship, it was a picture and a picture only that was posted. So what’s the trend here? We only know what we are shown but people will take that little piece of information create their own stories, rumors, theories, opinions, and so on. It’s not only done with celebrities, people do it in general, they assume they know what’s going on from a picture or caption forgetting that people only tell you and let you see what they wish. Depending on the circumstances of their past relationship with the child’s father, some women feel comfortable moving on while they are pregnant or have newly given birth. Yes, when you have a child your priorities and focus changes but that doesn’t mean women have to throw away their love life. It’s all about being mindful of who is around your child when it comes time to cross that line. I guess in her case it comes down to people accusing her of not visiting and taking care of her child, unless we’re holding her hand and tagging along with her, I’m not sure what she does so I can’t speak on that personally. She hardly posts her child and there’s nothing wrong with that, some people just choose to keep certain parts of their life personal.

Having a baby is a personal choice depending on what a woman feels is right for her and her situation/life but people resort to shaming women for their choices when it comes to having kids or not; neither is wrong. It’s like if you do or you don’t, people will always have something to say. Some people are stating how they wanted better for Cardi and don’t want to see her end up like a lot of mother’s who end up single, or not with the father of their child. Because so many rappers make children with so many women and they don’t end up being together they feel the same will happen to her but the same people who want better for Cardi doesn’t know what better is for her or themselves. I don’t know these women personally but obviously they felt they made the right decision in brining new life into the world. Had they chose to do otherwise I can only imagine the comments, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

Being a celebrity means your life and every move you make is shared with billions of people but celebrities are still human, they have feelings as well. They go through life just as regular people do; they hurt, they make mistakes, they get cheated on, they cheat, they love, and they learn. I’m sure somewhere along the line people will combat everything I’ve said and follow up with “well they chose this life, they should already know people will have opinions.” and that’s 100% true. But why as a society do we feel so comfortable with some of the things that leave our fingertips and lips. The ignorance and hypocrisy is at an all time high. A lot of people who comment on these blogs and have so many negative things to say live the same life, have done the same things, have forgiven the same person multiple times and reproduced with them, some have done worse. Social media just offers people the chance to live in their own fantasy world where they are perfect. The ones who have so much negativity to spread on the net, do the same in the real world because 9/10 they are unhappy but trying to dictate what “better” and life should be like for someone else. Cardi did the right thing naming her album Invasion of Privacy because even if you wanted to keep your private life private, people will always pry, speculate, leak your business, and do whatever to create a storyline. Babies will forever be a blessing despite the situation or circumstances they stem from.

“I started winning when the world was doubting on me! Think imma lose with my little baby counting on me?” – Cardi B.

One thing that I like about her is she never stopped being her throughout her career and rise to fame. Get those negative vibes and energy out your life, do something constructive instead of spending your time behind a screen spewing hate. I see why people take time away from social media or delete their accounts altogether, there is so much negativity that it can overpower the positive if you let it. Adjust your focus and spread love. Happy Self-Love Sunday! 

Is it possible we’ve all just devolved into self-centered misanthropes who can’t even be bothered to rustle up a little respect for one another? Or is there something about turning on a computer, running our hands across a keyboard, and hitting “post” or “send” that changes how civilized we are when communicating with others? – Kate Rope.

What’s New? 
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon. All 3 of my books and $elf products and apparel are available on my website findingyourself.bigcartel.com

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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

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