It’s true that at some point in life we all envision how our lives will be. When I was young I wondered how I would look as a teenager, how high school would be, how I would turn out. As I got older I imagined when I would have kids, start a family, get married, etc. We paint this ideal picture and it’s never how things unfold 9/10.
I never imagined I would be having a baby at this point in my life but that’s how the story is being written. Had I known I would be meeting my son so soon I would have done some things differently, but some things we can’t prepare for, life just forces us to react and adapt. As I’ve journeyed through this pregnancy I’ve learned a lot of things but what I’ve realized is that one of the most important things pregnant women need is support. While there are several forms of support, emotional is what’s really needed. Pregnancy isn’t just hard on the body, it’s hard on the soul; pregnant women go through a shift mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Depending on the circumstances of a women’s pregnancy and who she is surrounded by she will look to support from different people, that may include parents, siblings, close friends, partners, the child’s father, etc. The support she receives can have an impact on her emotional and physical well-being which can effect the health of the unborn baby. It is said that one of the main causes of emotional distress during pregnancy is a stressed relationship between an expecting mother and the child’s father.
“The closest a woman will come to death is through pregnancy and labor. A woman never forgets the actions of a man during pregnancy. Treat her bad or disrespect her during pregnancy and you’ll scar her for life. Show her unfathomable love and compassion during pregnancy and she’ll adore you for as long as she can breathe.”
Positive relationships on the other hand make for a positive experience. Emotional support is hard to separate from other forms of support during pregnancy as they all seem to be intertwined. Have you ever wondered how to support your pregnant partner, friend, sibling, etc. during pregnancy? I’ll share a few ways how in no particular form towards relations, as each pregnancy will differ in terms of who is involved. So what does that support look like?
- Ask questions about worries, fears, concerns, or simply listen when the mother needs to vent – many pregnant women may be excited but many of us are also scared. Scared of the unknown, of being responsible for a human being, worried about labor, birth, the baby, relationships, worried about everything. Pregnancy brings on a ton of ideas and concerns for the future.
- Try to be understanding even if you can’t understand – Pregnancy hormones can be the devil, literally. One minute you can be happy, the next you’re sad and on the verge of tears. As a woman progresses throughout her pregnancy even the most simple things become harder to do like tying shoes, rolling over in bed, walking. The slightest things make us emotional and the last thing we want to hear is “relax, it’s just your hormones.” Sometimes it can seem like we’re whining or complaining but pregnancy is hard, it’s exhausting, hormonally charged, and sometimes (almost all of the time) pretty painful and uncomfortable.
- Attend prenatal classes, doctor visits, appointments – Pregnant women attend tons of appointments and going alone can suck sometimes, when someone takes the initiative to attend it can reassure her that she’s not alone. Being present is one of the best forms of support you can give.
- Help with preparing for the delivery – this can be done by talking to the expecting mother about her birth plan, trying to relax her if she’s afraid of the birthing process, helping to put together furniture, etc.
- Spend time – pregnancy can feel lonely, you can no longer do some of the things you used to which often times results in less invitations and communication from people. Spend time when you can, pregnant women love to eat and there are plenty of other fun options like going to the arcade, museums, having a movie night at home or going to the movies, spending time can be anything, the effort just has to be made.
- Encourage and reassure her.
- Ask her what she needs.
- Show affection.
- Help her make changes to her lifestyle – This can be a good time to make some lifestyle changes that you’ve been thinking about.
- Encourage her to listen to her body – Hormones during pregnancy can change a woman’s energy level and need for sleep.
- Be open to changes in how you express intimacy – sex if involved, may change (increase or decrease) talk about what the expectant mother is comfortable with.
- Take walks together – It gives you exercise and time to talk.
Pregnancy is a time of change, challenges, struggles, excitement, and pain. There are a lot of ways to be of support and if you have a good relationship with the expectant mother then you may know how to be of support but if you don’t ask questions. Ask what she needs and if you can help in any way, communication is key.
Related and Latest Post:
- Why Close Relationships May Change During Pregnancy
- A Letter To My Black Son
- Fatherhood Is Important Too!
- Is Circumcision The Norm?
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon. All 3 of my books and $elf products and apparel are available on my website findingyourself.bigcartel.com For easier access, simply click “Books” on the blog’s homepage.
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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!
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