What Self-Love Means: 15 Questions to Ask Yourself.


Practicing self-love is not always an easy task. Some don’t know how to love themselves or where to start. You first have to ask yourself, what does loving myself mean to me? It involves learning to accept and be brutally honest with who we are and who we have the potential to be. It requires growth and hard work mentally, emotionally, and physically.

There’s so much more to self-love than bubble baths, spa days, and pampering. Self-love isn’t only for women, it’s universal. We all should be dedicating quality time to ourselves. Self-love is choosing ourselves even if that means upsetting others. My motto is “choose you always” because you matter, you come first. It may sound selfish to a lot of people but you can not truly love another person until you know what it’s like to love yourself. You have to acquaint the person you see in the mirror, get to know you fully. The things we tend to search for in other people can easily be obtained through self (time, attention, love, care, etc.) and it’s okay to seek those things from others but are you giving them to yourself? Anything you receive from others should only add on to what you’ve been pouring into yourself.


Is your relationship with yourself as strong as it could be? Do you treat yourself how you treat others? Do you talk to yourself with kindness and honesty? Your love-language with yourself should be 100%. You have to fill your own cup before you focus on pouring into others and be aware of those who have no intentions on filling you back up. It’s not selfish to take care of you and to make your happiness, peace of mind, and you as a whole, a priority; it’s necessary. In my own life I learned that there needs to be a balance between selflessness and selfishness. I’m the kind of person who likes to pour into others and it took quite some time to realize the love and energy I was giving out wasn’t being reciprocated in some areas. Instead of letting that change who I was, I let it change the way I do things. I now move with the intent to love me better because in loving myself better I set the tone for how others love and approach me. I love being selfless, I love helping others, I love the way I love, but I can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve accepted that it’s necessary to take all the “me time” I need and to nurture my soul and continuously fall in love with me, myself, & I. We sometimes get lost in others, we get lost in life, we subconsciously allow people and even things like our work, to use us until we no longer recognize who we are.


There’s a lot that goes into practicing self-love but it involves building a life we are happy with instead of depending on a significant other to build or help us build a life we are happy with. Can you truly be happy alone? It involves accepting all parts of ourself and committing to not making the same mistakes and dragging ourselves into dark places when we know we can only learn from the past, not change it. Self-love is making time to do what we love, listening to what we need physically, mentally, and spiritually, it’s connecting with ourselves. It’s setting boundaries and knowing our worth. Once you learn how to be happy with yourself, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.

I live for self-care and self-love, it’s whats brought me through tough times, it’s gotten me through heartbreaks and heartaches. It’s what keeps me grounded, loved, and balanced. In journeying through self-love, here are some questions to ask yourself. Answer them however you wish whether you journal, speak them out loud or to yourself, etc. but self reflecting is important.

  1. What do I need to be more at peace with myself? How do I get there?
  2. What has stopped me from forming a healthy relationship with myself in the past?
  3. Do I have healthy relationships with others? Do I have a healthy relationship with myself?
  4. Have I ever valued someone’s opinion about myself more than my own?
  5. Thinking back on past situations; How would some of these situations differ or what would they have looked like if I put myself first?
  6. On my journey to self-love have I forgiven myself? What do/did I need to forgive myself for?
  7. Do I love myself enough to forgive others?
  8. What toxic thoughts and behaviors do I need to rid myself of?
  9. What am I going to do to make sure I stay committed to loving me?
  10. What am I holding on to that isn’t serving me?
  11. How would I like to show love to myself today?
  12. What am I grateful for?
  13. What do I love and value about myself?
  14. How am I feeling? If negative, How can I change the way I’m feeling?
  15. When is the last time I told myself “I love you” or “I am enough”?


What’s New? 
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon. All 3 of my books and $elf products and apparel are available on my website findingyourself.bigcartel.com For easier access, simply click “Books” on the blog’s homepage. 

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below.

Published by breyanaa

If given the chance, everyone has a story to tell. My name is Breyana I'jae, I am a 25 year old Temple University Psychology graduate, blogger, visionary, artist, creator, self published author, mama, jack of all trades, and lover of many things. 
When I first started this blog in 2013 my goal was to share My Story in hopes of inspiring someone else, I didn't know where it would go, how people would perceive it or what to really do, I just know I lived by the motto, Uplift, Empower, & Inspire.

While those goals still remain my blog will now be a place to promote self-love and self-care but that's not all. Come take a look to see what it offers.

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