I‘ve been noticing that a lot of things are geared towards mothers and motherhood. Of course mother’s are always in the limelight because they carry the child and are nurturing beings. While the role of parenting may be evenly split in some households, in most the mothers are the ones who cook, clean, and take care of the children in terms of diapering, feeding, etc. While the father’s are the ones who provide financially and put food on the table. There are distinct roles that mothers and fathers have and different things that one may provide that the other can’t emotionally, mentally, and overall. Women are known to be strong in areas such as detail-orienting and multi-tasking so she’d be the one to focus on things such as laundry or chore scheduling for example. A father would be the one to act as the authority figure, protector, and disciplinary in certain situations. Fathers don’t focus too much on feeding, clothing/dressing, and other things that require detail because that’s usually what Mom does. Father’s like to play with the kids and challenge them in different areas like strength. Father’s do a lot, it’s the relationship and parenting style of BOTH parents that effect how and what a child values and cherish as they grow older. Relationships with both parents have a huge impact on children and most times as adults people can recall something each parent instilled in them that they cherish or effected them both good and bad.
I’m here to point out that fatherhood is just as important as motherhood. When people think about bonding with an infant an image of a mother and its child automatically pops into their head most times. Mother’s are held more accountable because well… she’s a mother or in other words their are higher expectations for mothers. But here’s the thing, fathers are fathers for a reason. The reasoning being they are just as important! Especially those who sometimes have no choice but to take on the role of a mother when a mother isn’t present or vice versa. Parents are really important.
A father’s approach to parenting always differs from a mother’s, men and women bring different strengths, weaknesses, and styles in general, but especially when it comes to parenting. Women like I said are nurturing beings, in various ways we are more understanding, more soft, more womanly, so of course it would make sense for a women to hold the role that she does in parenting vs a father. A woman’s emotional attachment in a lot of cases may be stronger or more apparent while Dad is more laid back and may not dig as deep. Mom’s are the peacemakers and this is why sometimes a Dad may say she’s being “too soft” on the child. Dad’s are more intent on teaching a lesson vs making the problem disappear. The main difference comes down to support vs discipline. You can get both from each parent but certain things come more naturally to mothers and certain things come more naturally to fathers. In a healthy relationship between mother and father, whatever the parenting style may be and the roles each may have because they can easily be reversed or switched, it’s important for parents to support one another through parenthood and provide that balance of love, support (in all aspects), and discipline.
Overall, father’s have a great impact on their children just as much as mothers do. For girls, as they grow older they will tend to look for characteristics of their father in men or be attracted to those type of men subconsciously. A girl looks to her father to set the standard of who she should be dating and without that guidance she sometimes goes down the wrong path and ends up with the wrong man. Guys on the other hand may model themselves after their father, I know we’ve all heard a lot of young boys say “I want to be like my Dad when I grow up.” They look for approval and acceptance from their father before they look to their mother and more than likely copy whatever behavior. If a father was abusive or controlling, 9/10 the son will grow up and possess a lot of those characteristics or similar, the same goes for if that behavior is good. What a father does and how they project themselves in front of their children is really important. A father teaches his children things that a mother may not have experience with and vice versa. Children are impressionable so what they see and hear their parents do plays a role in everything.
Children who are well-bonded and loved by involved fathers, tend to have less behavioral problems, and are somewhat inoculated against alcohol and drug abuse. Yet when fathers are less engaged, children are more likely to drop out of school earlier, and to exhibit more problems in behavior and substance abuse. Research indicates that fathers are as important as mothers in their respective roles as caregivers, protectors, financial supporters, and most importantly, models for social and emotional behavior. Your child’s primary relationship with his/her father can affect all of your child’s relationships from birth to death, including those with friends, lovers, and spouses. Those early patterns of interaction with father are the very patterns that will be projected forward into all relationships…forever more: not only your child’s intrinsic idea of who he/she is as he/she relates to others, but also, the range of what your child considers acceptable and loving – Dr. Gail Gross.
If a father isn’t present that impacts a child as well, it may effect their behavior, school work, and overall life and how they view things. It is said that children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. Some use the absence of their father as fuel to do better for their own children, while some follow in the same direction and choose not to be involved. The influence of a father’s involvement extends into young adulthood and beyond. A father’s role shouldn’t be as underrated as it is because our parental relationships have an impact on our emotional, social, and cognitive development. Children without a positive fatherly role often times turn to the wrong lifestyle. While mothers often do their best to raise and mold a child, there are just some things that a father has to do. While their are a lot of single mothers (mothers who have no support from the father) it is hard for women to raise children alone and especially hard for a women to raise a boy because he needs a father figure for various things. As much as some hate to admit, father’s are important and 10/9 the relationship your child does or does not have with their biological father or mother will have an impact on them. Sometimes step-parents may ease those impacts or lingering thoughts as to why that relationship doesn’t exist or is the way it is but to an extent it always has an impact. Some people, especially guys, who don’t/didn’t have that fatherly figure are able to thrive in life and teach themselves how to be a man.
The expectations for fathers are high too if you think about it. They are looked at as providers and protectors in most cases; they have to take care of the household and make sure that there are clothes and food for the children to begin with. Women can/do also provide but it’s something that has become necessary of men, it’s instilled in them from birth to have that motive to take care of their families financially, physically, and still making room to dedicate emotional and mental support. Parenting is not an easy task but it should be a group effort, support your partner and even if you aren’t together you should still support the mother/father of your child/children when necessary. In present days people are too focused on the wrong things and let their feelings get in the way of good parenting. Think about your children and provide a good mental, emotional, and physical environment for them to thrive in. If you are doing things on your own and you are a single parent (no support from the child’s mom or dad) kudos to you! I commend you. But to all parents, keep doing your best and recognize that what you do and don’t do may not necessarily impact you, but it will impact your child.
- The Ex Baggage – Journeying Through Hurt
- Why Do You Attract The Damaged Ones? – Why You May Be Attracting Damaged Men.
- Why Men Put Off Doctor Visits?
- Is Circumcision the Norm? – An Expecting Mother’s Thoughts
Note that my first two self-published books are still available for purchase. You can find reviews and product information on my site (findingyourself.bigcartel.com) while you’re there you can also take a look at the accompanying products. Be sure to stay in the loop by following @chooseyoualways on Instagram.
Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.
- The Key To My Brothers Heart – Kennedy’s Reign (a snippet)
- The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign (The last snippet)
Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram!
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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!