There’s no handbook to pregnancy, I mean honestly there are tons but no specific handbook for each person because well, everyone is different. While some expecting mothers may share similar experiences, symptoms, etc. each woman goes on her own journey.
As I entered my third trimester a few weeks ago, I realized I entered back into a heightened sense of emotions. Everyone will tell you with hormones and carrying a baby your emotions will typically be all over the place and it’s true, but it isn’t always like that. You will find that during certain times you may feel like your regular self, or you may feel the total opposite, pregnancy is just that, you never know what you’re going to get. I like to be honest in sharing my experiences and the past few weeks I’ve been extra emotional, irritable, and a little on the down side. I have my days where I want to talk nonstop and days where I rather not be bothered. I have my days where I have all the energy in the world, and days where I can sleep for hours. That’s the world of pregnancy, it’s like being on a ferris wheel and at every stop there’s something new. Because I know my body is experiencing several hormonal changes I’ve learned to dedicate more time to myself when I’m feeling down. I write, reflect, listen to music, I get in my own zone and practice extra self-care. The thing is, nothing even has to happen for me to feel upset, but in my experience I’m more prone to becoming stressed and upset from little things that otherwise wouldn’t have bothered me if I weren’t pregnant. A few days ago I found myself on the verge of tears about to walk out of work because it was that overwhelming.
Various things effect the way people experience pregnancy, their stage in life, current predicaments, relationships, etc. there’s a lot to take into consideration that’s why no two people can have the same experience. You can’t really ask a pregnant woman “how’s your pregnancy going?” at least not me because how I interpret my pregnancy today may not be how I interpret it tomorrow. Today my back may be killing me, or work may have added that extra stress I didn’t need, and tomorrow may be something totally different. But a general answer always suffices and my pregnancy has treated me pretty good so far. Aside from random aches and pains, there is nothing like growing a life inside of you. I’ll be 30 weeks in 3 days and if you ask me I just found out I was pregnant. It goes fast, and while I love my bump, I’m not sure I’ll miss being pregnant. I get tired from walking up the steps, I can’t just roll out of bed anymore, my heartburn has intensified, and the back pain is a killer but it’ll all be worth it in the end. So if you ever wanted to know what pregnancy feels like, it feels like a bunch of everything. None of my days have really been the same, maybe similar, but each day my body is changing, I’m changing.. I observe something new, describe my son’s kick in a new way, notice he moved differently, notice my stomach has grew, realize my mindset has changed. It’s always different and it’s been such a humbling experience.
Since I started writing this post a couple of weeks ago and I’m now at a different stage in pregnancy, I can now say I’m in much better spirits. I’m 33 weeks today and I don’t want to rush my son but I’m more than ready to meet him but I’ll be patient, only a few weeks left to go. A lot has transpired in my journey; I’ve taken my maternity pictures and my family threw me a surprise baby shower on the same day, how exciting! I was so surprised I cried. In the midst of always being tired I also managed to release my third self-published book. Now I’m just counting down the days until I finally get to hold my son. To be honest, I’ve been trying to find the time to blog but every time I get the motivation, pregnancy brain kicks in and I no longer feel like it. It amazes me how time has flew, it’s already April and I’m due next month. These days I’m experiencing the same symptoms, back pain, swollen feet and ankles, tiredness, increased heartburn, and my legs and hips hurt when I walk long distances. To add to the long list of things, I believe I’ve started experiencing braxton hicks, I could be wrong but every now and then I raise an eyebrow or two, but obviously nothing too alarming to worry me. Baby moves a lottt, I can tell he’s running out of room in there and he likes to bounce off the walls when I’m ready to sleep or relax. As the days pass by I start to feel more excited, nervous, and powerful. To know that I’ll be birthing a human I grew in my body is crazy and in only 49 days or less. The nursery aka our shared room is coming together quite nice, I was able to put away the tons of gifts from the baby shower and I also hand painted the letters for his name. I’ll share pictures of the whole room once it’s completely done.
Overall, I’m happy.As I posted on my IG, sharing my body for the past 8 months with a little person has been an experience mentally, emotionally, and physically. I think we all envision how our lives will be, when we’ll have kids, get married, etc. we paint this ideal picture and it’s never how things unfold 9/10.
Had I known I would be meeting my son so soon I would’ve prepared better, did some things differently, but some things we can’t prepare for, life just forces us to react and adapt. Some journeys are meant to change us and I embrace this change that’s taking place. I’ve never felt more beautiful, more powerful, more able. I can finally say I’m no longer searching for anything, everything is within me, literally. I’ve found myself for good and I owe it all to the dopest version of me that’s emerging. I always see people stare in awe at their baby’s with “I never knew a love like this” written all over their faces and it’s true. I haven’t even given birth yet and I already can’t imagine life without my son. Definitely my biggest blessing thus far, I’m so grateful for all that I have. If you are a mother or soon to be mother, quite frankly if you are a woman, you should feel strong and empowered. There’s so much magic in creating life, so much magic in being a woman.
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon. All 3 of my books and $elf products and apparel are available on my website findingyourself.bigcartel.com
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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!
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