#GrownAss2018

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Recently I came across a thread that went viral that I couldn’t help but to comment on. A guy got on twitter discussing his recent encounter with his ex-girlfriend’s fiance, the whole thread can be found on his twitter @SebastianCarson. Here’s what he said:

“So lil shawty I was talking to about 6 months ago got engaged. Her fiance met with me today to make sure I wouldn’t overstep. I got so much respect for bro. No ego, no pride – just “bro I realized y’all used to talk but I’d like to make this woman my wife.” When I tell y’all. I was just real deal lost in that moment. 1.) I thought wow, I wouldn’t have been this calm towards my fiance ex’s. 2.) just cuz you don’t cherish it, doesn’t mean it’s not a real man ready to step up for the woman you taking for granted. Bro was like, “I accept whatever past y’all have. I just want to set the tempo moving forward.” What bruh don’t know, is he taught me how to accept a woman despite a past. When she’s the right woman for your mission, her history can be worked with regardless. In that moment. I didn’t have anything to say. I was like, you know what, bruh you deserve that woman a lot more than I do. In that moment, I was proud she had a man like that and not me Frfr. Said that to say, it’s some homies out here not playing. I tried to text shawty on some Netflix and chill and she sent me back a picture of a ring. She helped me realize I still was playing. Just because you don’t realize a woman’s worth does not mean she is not worthy! And when she realize her worth and cut off the games for the real thing, you’ll learn you’re in a different league with GROWN ASS WOMEN looking for REAL ASS STABILITY. Said that to say, I won’t be Netflix and chilling 2018. I done got the clapback of 2017 when shawty sent the ring when I was trying to Netflix and chill. If you like it put a ring on it cuz these women getting tired of Netflix and chilling and these homies stepping up. Then shawty got a real man. He didn’t twitter beef with me. He set a business meeting up with me where he slid in at the end, “oh yeah that woman, I’m trying to build something and I recognize y’all got history.” Bruh that’s how you step up to yo girl’s ex’s. Moral of the story: Bruh if you don’t plan on marrying it, leave it alone. Point blank period. You can think you really doing some with your lil temporary fulfilling, but that’s somebody wife. And if you know it’s not your wife, leave it alone.”

Now that’s real, I often wonder why it takes men so long to see what’s in front of them but 10/9 it takes for them to see you have moved on to realize where they messed up at. He made a lot of valid points, if you know you have no intentions on building a future with someone then let them be. The same goes for women because men are not the only ones who tend to play games. People will string you along and continue to lead you on until either you decide to move on, or they get tired of you and move on to the next person to do the same thing. It’s about time people started growing up and he’s just one person so he doesn’t represent the entire male population but people in general need to develop this mindset of leaving people the hell alone if they know their intentions aren’t wholesome. I won’t put it all on men because women are capable of doing the same thing. People have been through a lot so they are no longer accepting the bare minimum and settling for less when they know the saying holds true that what you won’t do, another person will. Women especially are realizing their worth and what they want out of life and constant Netflix and Chill is not one of them. Yes, it’s cool to do that every now and then but we need some more effort and excitement than guys just inviting you over to hump on you and calling it quality time. Do better!

No one is getting younger and to be honest no one wants to put up with the childish shit anymore. I hope more women start putting men in their places by showing off that ring to ex’s who thought they still had a chance. Shoot, I hope the guys start showing these women too that you can get replaced by something much much better. Even if you don’t get a ring and you’re single, it’s time to start letting people know what you will and won’t accept or being up front about what it is you’re willing to offer. He got humbled, but he was able to grow from that experience. The problem with a lot of males is their pride and egos and instead of accepting the fact that a female has moved on and is better without them, they decide to put their feelings first and become upset. Not her fault you missed your chance.

Another thing, people are good for popping out of the woodworks with the “hey stranger” texts and trying to chill bs. (rolls eyes extra hard) please dead that and quickly, because obviously you two fell off for a reason and if you’re just trying to have sex no one has time for it, go away. If that’s not the case, try a different approach, but it’s true that people will try to mess with someone from their past when all else fails and as we see people just aren’t going for it anymore. People are getting serious about settling down and building bonds with one person and I love it. There’s still a large percentage of people who play games but hopefully their moment of realization is coming or someone humbles them. Quite frankly, the moral here as he said, if you don’t see a future with a person please leave them alone and let the person they’re supposed to be with find them. That temporary fulfillment is no longer fulfilling people and they want more out of life and relationships. So be clear about what you want, what you have to offer, and what you’re willing to do, it would save a lot of time, and a lot of feelings. Just because you may not realize all that a person offers doesn’t mean they don’t offer it. And if you sleep on them for too long, you will miss your shot. All in all, I’m glad he was able to speak on his experience and hopefully it opens up the floor for people to discuss further and encourages a lot of people to grow up mentally and recognize what they have or set the tone for future relationships. It’s important to know someone else’s worth as well as your own because sometimes we demand people bring something to the table that we aren’t even willing to offer, for ex: commitment and relationship-like qualities are a big one. If you know you aren’t ready or simply don’t want to do something, don’t demand it from someone else or put up an act. This is how people end up in one-sided relationships. We just need to do better relationship-wise and honesty and setting boundaries is the first step in doing so. Simply put, if you like it, put a ring on it. If not, let someone else step up and take over.

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble.

** Note that my first two self-published books are still available for purchase. You can find reviews and product information on my site (findingyourself.bigcartel.com) while you’re there you can also take a look at the accompanying products. Be sure to stay in the loop by following @chooseyoualways on Instagram.

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel.

Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram!

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