And Soon We’ll Be Saying – “Remember that Horrible Year? What Was It Again…?”

The Dread That Once Was 2k17

breyanaijae.com

Am I only the one or is the fact that it’s December 2nd blowing your mind? This year has really flown by and I think as a whole it’s been very overwhelming for almost everyone. Now I won’t generalize but from being on social media and having different conversations, 2017 has been a disaster for most. From struggling with school and work for some, to life just happening for others. It has truly been a whirlwind and I think just wanting 2018 to be better is enough motivation for people to do things differently.

In retrospect, my year has been a learning experience so I’ve categorized it as one of the best/worst years because while I’ve experienced enough things to change my life outlook, I’ve taken away more from those experiences than I could have if I never had to go through them first hand. I feel like that’s a good way to start looking at situations we may not necessarily like. The things we encounter is not made to break us, but to build our character but while we’re going through something we’re quick to ask “Why me?” or similar questions as if our journey wasn’t meant for us. We don’t have control over everything that happens and I think that’s what kills us the most, not being able to control or change the path of certain outcomes but that’s life. Things will happen; things will happen that will make us cry, make us upset, make us want to give up. It all comes down to how we internalize what we experience, and that’s where the notion of something making or breaking us comes in.

Some take aways I want to share from this year are things that can be utilized for the years to come.

  • Do what makes you happy even if that happiness is temporary. (We tend to take a lot into consideration when choosing to do something for ourselves, and often times we think of things that aren’t really important such as, what people will think, if we’ll be happy in the long run, and what will happen) While those things are important to take into consideration they also hinder us from taking risk or truly being happy in the moment. Sometimes that happiness doesn’t last but being able to experience it is what matters. As the saying goes “tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” hint hint, certain things shape the way we handle similar situations in the future if we should ever cross the path again.
  • Your mental health is THE MOST important thing. (Things will happen that will rock your world and turn it upside down. You will be hurt, upset, and unfortunately, sometimes depressed. Everything effects your mental health and stability and sometimes you may not notice how much you are effected until you reach a breaking point. Don’t overlook your sadness or feelings. Don’t be afraid to seek help from your support system or a professional if you get to a point where nothing is working and you constantly feel down and out.)
    • Self-care is necessary – I talk about self-care a lot because that’s how important it is. Take time to yourself to reconnect; try your hardest not to lose sight of your goals or motivation, and I say try your hardest because I know first hand that when you hit rock bottom it all goes out the window and sometimes it takes months to rebuild. But we can’t function correctly without our mind being 100%. Self-care is simple and ties back into doing what makes you happy. This is also where I like to incorporate meditation, calming techniques, self-reflecting, and indulging in hobbies, etc.
  • Plan efficiently – I’m a person that likes to do things when I feel ready but sometimes my version of ready may not be the version I need to act on. To minimize your struggles and downfalls make sure you have a plan A,B,C,D, and so on. Just because something looks good at first glance doesn’t mean that’s how it will pan out.
  • Be mindful of who you allow into your space – I’m not a love or relationship guru but I do have enough experience to know we must be mindful of who/what we allow into our minds, heart, and space. Not everyone has good motives and everyone does not have the same heart as you. It’s really important that we take extra time to get to know who we befriend, converse with, and who we choose to be intimate and have relations with. Before you even decide to take those steps in any relationship, ask questions, and I mean the really important ones. Bypass the what do you like to do and get to the point, “hey are you dealing with anyone else?” “What do you hope to get out this relationship, what are you looking for?” “when’s the last time you’ve been tested?” and so on and so forth, just be super mindful that some people won’t necessarily tell the truth but that’s up to you to gauge and make a decision on. Protect yourself, protect your mind, and protect your peace. Make people work extra hard to earn a place in your space.
    • Detox your space when you feel necessary – you are not obligated to hang on to any relationships that you feel isn’t benefiting your life in a positive way. If it’s doing more harm than help, let it go. And take note that history should not be a placeholder to keep people or things around, some people have expiration dates in your life.
  • Don’t ignore the signs you ask for – I think that’s as self-explanatory as it gets. We’re good for doing it.
  • Focus on your blessings, not what you don’t have or what you want – Develop an attitude of gratitude, we spend too much time sulking over things that have happened, things that we can’t change, and ultimately things that we don’t have that we want or even that we may feel we need. That’s been me plenty of times this year but I sat back and asked myself. “You have a roof over your head right?” “You’re able to eat right?” “You have clothes on your back, a bed to sleep in and people who care about you right?” And the most important question “You have the power to change your current situation don’t you?” “So what the hell are you REALLY complaining about?” Don’t be afraid to check yourself!

All in all it’s safe to say I’ve taken away a great deal of things from this year alone, it’s a lot more I could list but in that case I’d be writing another book instead of a blog post. What I want you all to take away is that sometimes our struggles turn into our greatest blessings so don’t try to skip your struggle or let it get you down. Sometimes you have to pick yourself back up and no one will be around to hold your hand or guide the way and that’s a part of growing up. You learn that life is no walk in the park and it won’t always be all smiles. I must say you learn so much from your struggles, and from your pain. It may suck while you’re experiencing it but once you get up and dust yourself off and heal your wounds, you look back and laugh and you say “That wasn’t even that bad now was it?” Nothing seems that bad when you get over it. Grow through, what you go through. We are all walking on different paths and just because yours doesn’t align with anyone else’s doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means you’re walking on the path that was meant for you and only you. It’s your life, live it well, live it to the fullest. Cheers to ending a year and being blessed enough to plan for a new one. Don’t look at this year as being horrible if you are able to walk away with lessons learned and your blessings.

Some of my fav post from this year:

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Interested in checking out my first two self-published books? Head over to my site: $elf – choose you always.

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