choose you always.

Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t.

Happy Sunday guys and welcome back to the blog. I usually try to refrain from speaking on celebrities much because people always tend to be too opinionated in their opinions as if they know the person personally. Well today, I’m making an exception. A few things have happened in the world of celebs that people have been commenting on. First and foremost we all know once things hit the internet it’s fair game in how people will react and what they will say, but lately I’ve been seeing so many ignorant and negative comments; at the end of the day the word “celebrity” does not mean “inhuman.”

Cardi B

If you have a social media account then by now you know the rumors have been circulating about Cardi B being pregnant for months. People were saying they hope it isn’t true because that would be stupid on her behalf, her career just started it’s not a good move, etc. Cardi B officially announced her pregnancy last night and people are having a ball bashing her about it. I’m not sure when new life became such a disappointment but people are weighing in with their opinions. Let me just give you guys a glimpse of the comments I’m seeing;

“Sad face didn’t want her trapped“

“Right when her career finna pop off. Lmao dumb“

“Congrats. She is going to be a great single mom. #babygoals”

“Damn so early in her career and relationship.”

“What number baby mama is she?”

“Congratulations! I wouldn’t exactly get pregnant this fast by a man that already has 3 or 4 kids idk, her career just now jumping off after ehhh idk a year I think but it’s her life! WEIRD but it’s hers I guess, tbh don’t think she’ll last in the music industry anyways especially since every little bad comment makes her so mad.”

“Because she’s 25 years old. It’s too early for her to be pregnant. She’s at the peak of her career and now she’s about to have a baby? She’s gonna be super busy. Ain’t nobody got time for that. She should’ve told Offset to wrap it or she should’ve been on the pill. She should’ve got pregnant 3 or 5 years after the wedding.”

The last comment threw me for a loop because 25 is too early to be pregnant? She should’ve did this and that with her life?

People are truly something else. The list goes on, there are hundreds and thousands of comments just like these. You have people commenting on the fact that Offset cheated on her and she’s every negative name in the book for being pregnant by him. Did we forget that she’s engaged to him? AND her album that she just dropped went Gold. Regardless of what the public sees they have a life they live behind cameras. Beyonce got cheated on but everyone just loves the ground she walks on, I’ve seen some negative comments about her too but not nearly as much. There’s clearly bias based on popularity. Some celebs get a pass because of who they are. Cardi said herself “This is why I did not wanted to say nothing. People be so thirsty to scrutinize and try to destroy something that itsuppose to be a blessing.” She made a few typos when she posted and of course people ran with it and made even more comments on her grammar.

Don’t get me wrong, in the midst of all the negative there is an outpour of positive and people wishing her well. A lot of people are truly happy for her, she’s been very successful in her career as of lately and deserves all the blessings coming her way. My question is, when did it become okay to bash people for living their lives how they deem fit? The internet is filled with hypocrisy and people bashing others for similar or worse things they have done themselves. The moral being, people get really comfortable behind their mobile devices and speak ill on everything and everyone until it gets personal. Cardi genuinely looks happy and that’s all that matters, she’s made her decision and is doing what’s best for her and living her best life.

Alexis Sky

If you don’t know who Alexis Sky is she was on Love & Hip Hop and dated and had a baby by rapper Fetty Wap. This is someone social media has had a field day with because of her drama with his other baby mama’s and the simple fact that she got pregnant by him. She also can’t seem to stop arguing with one particular baby mama (Masika) over the internet. Now Fetty has about 6 or 7 kids, a few of whom were born back to back, this is of course something people use against her. Alexis had her baby prematurely at 6 months, and she’s still in the hospital and has been for maybe the past 3 or 4 months. Her and Fetty haven’t been “a thing” for quite some time and apparently she has a new boo which she posted to social media a pic of just their hands holding saying “Mine”. Here are where the comments start:

“Boy I tell ya..heffas uterus don’t even been done went down n they have a new man..”

“Alexis be all over she don’t know if she wanna beef, catch CPS cases, get that Kitty patted or be mommy dearest”

“She just had a baby why she got a new boo. Smh”

“Can the baby at least get the discharge date first?”

“She just had a baby!!! She’s such a disgusting bum.”

“When I got pregnant with my first, I left his father.. All my focus was on my son. Didn’t even have time to meet anyone and I was not one bit interested in doing so. Didn’t have a man until he was 4! How is it so easy for these woman to just move on to something new like its nothing?”

“So many moms are starting new relationships before the baby even turns 1 smh. Guess she wants her to have an in house dad.”

A follow up comment to the last was “the father moved on also so why can’t she? You chatting cause you got a phone.” Is there really a time frame on when people can date after having a baby? I don’t keep up with her life to know whether or not she was dating anyone else before this post circulated but for all we know she could have been dating him while she was pregnant. We don’t know if he’s met her child or the nature of their relationship, it was a picture and a picture only that was posted. So what’s the trend here? We only know what we are shown but people will take that little piece of information create their own stories, rumors, theories, opinions, and so on. It’s not only done with celebrities, people do it in general, they assume they know what’s going on from a picture or caption forgetting that people only tell you and let you see what they wish. Depending on the circumstances of their past relationship with the child’s father, some women feel comfortable moving on while they are pregnant or have newly given birth. Yes, when you have a child your priorities and focus changes but that doesn’t mean women have to throw away their love life. It’s all about being mindful of who is around your child when it comes time to cross that line. I guess in her case it comes down to people accusing her of not visiting and taking care of her child, unless we’re holding her hand and tagging along with her, I’m not sure what she does so I can’t speak on that personally. She hardly posts her child and there’s nothing wrong with that, some people just choose to keep certain parts of their life personal.

Having a baby is a personal choice depending on what a woman feels is right for her and her situation/life but people resort to shaming women for their choices when it comes to having kids or not; neither is wrong. It’s like if you do or you don’t, people will always have something to say. Some people are stating how they wanted better for Cardi and don’t want to see her end up like a lot of mother’s who end up single, or not with the father of their child. Because so many rappers make children with so many women and they don’t end up being together they feel the same will happen to her but the same people who want better for Cardi doesn’t know what better is for her or themselves. I don’t know these women personally but obviously they felt they made the right decision in brining new life into the world. Had they chose to do otherwise I can only imagine the comments, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Being a celebrity means your life and every move you make is shared with billions of people but celebrities are still human, they have feelings as well. They go through life just as regular people do; they hurt, they make mistakes, they get cheated on, they cheat, they love, and they learn. I’m sure somewhere along the line people will combat everything I’ve said and follow up with “well they chose this life, they should already know people will have opinions.” and that’s 100% true. But why as a society do we feel so comfortable with some of the things that leave our fingertips and lips. The ignorance and hypocrisy is at an all time high. A lot of people who comment on these blogs and have so many negative things to say live the same life, have done the same things, have forgiven the same person multiple times and reproduced with them, some have done worse. Social media just offers people the chance to live in their own fantasy world where they are perfect. The ones who have so much negativity to spread on the net, do the same in the real world because 9/10 they are unhappy but trying to dictate what “better” and life should be like for someone else. Cardi did the right thing naming her album Invasion of Privacy because even if you wanted to keep your private life private, people will always pry, speculate, leak your business, and do whatever to create a storyline. Babies will forever be a blessing despite the situation or circumstances they stem from.

“I started winning when the world was doubting on me! Think imma lose with my little baby counting on me?” – Cardi B.

One thing that I like about her is she never stopped being her throughout her career and rise to fame. Get those negative vibes and energy out your life, do something constructive instead of spending your time behind a screen spewing hate. I see why people take time away from social media or delete their accounts altogether, there is so much negativity that it can overpower the positive if you let it. Adjust your focus and spread love. Happy Self-Love Sunday!

Is it possible we’ve all just devolved into self-centered misanthropes who can’t even be bothered to rustle up a little respect for one another? Or is there something about turning on a computer, running our hands across a keyboard, and hitting “post” or “send” that changes how civilized we are when communicating with others? – Kate Rope.

What’s New?
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon. All 3 of my books and $elf products and apparel are available on my website findingyourself.bigcartel.com

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below.

Baby Check In – 30 & 33 weeks.

There’s no handbook to pregnancy, I mean honestly there are tons but no specific handbook for each person because well, everyone is different. While some expecting mothers may share similar experiences, symptoms, etc. each woman goes on her own journey.

30 weeks

As I entered my third trimester a few weeks ago, I realized I entered back into a heightened sense of emotions. Everyone will tell you with hormones and carrying a baby your emotions will typically be all over the place and it’s true, but it isn’t always like that. You will find that during certain times you may feel like your regular self, or you may feel the total opposite, pregnancy is just that, you never know what you’re going to get. I like to be honest in sharing my experiences and the past few weeks I’ve been extra emotional, irritable, and a little on the down side. I have my days where I want to talk nonstop and days where I rather not be bothered. I have my days where I have all the energy in the world, and days where I can sleep for hours. That’s the world of pregnancy, it’s like being on a ferris wheel and at every stop there’s something new. Because I know my body is experiencing several hormonal changes I’ve learned to dedicate more time to myself when I’m feeling down. I write, reflect, listen to music, I get in my own zone and practice extra self-care. The thing is, nothing even has to happen for me to feel upset, but in my experience I’m more prone to becoming stressed and upset from little things that otherwise wouldn’t have bothered me if I weren’t pregnant. A few days ago I found myself on the verge of tears about to walk out of work because it was that overwhelming.

Various things effect the way people experience pregnancy, their stage in life, current predicaments, relationships, etc. there’s a lot to take into consideration that’s why no two people can have the same experience. You can’t really ask a pregnant woman “how’s your pregnancy going?” at least not me because how I interpret my pregnancy today may not be how I interpret it tomorrow. Today my back may be killing me, or work may have added that extra stress I didn’t need, and tomorrow may be something totally different. But a general answer always suffices and my pregnancy has treated me pretty good so far. Aside from random aches and pains, there is nothing like growing a life inside of you. I’ll be 30 weeks in 3 days and if you ask me I just found out I was pregnant. It goes fast, and while I love my bump, I’m not sure I’ll miss being pregnant. I get tired from walking up the steps, I can’t just roll out of bed anymore, my heartburn has intensified, and the back pain is a killer but it’ll all be worth it in the end. So if you ever wanted to know what pregnancy feels like, it feels like a bunch of everything. None of my days have really been the same, maybe similar, but each day my body is changing, I’m changing.. I observe something new, describe my son’s kick in a new way, notice he moved differently, notice my stomach has grew, realize my mindset has changed. It’s always different and it’s been such a humbling experience.

33 weeks

Since I started writing this post a couple of weeks ago and I’m now at a different stage in pregnancy, I can now say I’m in much better spirits. I’m 33 weeks today and I don’t want to rush my son but I’m more than ready to meet him but I’ll be patient, only a few weeks left to go. A lot has transpired in my journey; I’ve taken my maternity pictures and my family threw me a surprise baby shower on the same day, how exciting! I was so surprised I cried. In the midst of always being tired I also managed to release my third self-published book. Now I’m just counting down the days until I finally get to hold my son. To be honest, I’ve been trying to find the time to blog but every time I get the motivation, pregnancy brain kicks in and I no longer feel like it. It amazes me how time has flew, it’s already April and I’m due next month. These days I’m experiencing the same symptoms, back pain, swollen feet and ankles, tiredness, increased heartburn, and my legs and hips hurt when I walk long distances. To add to the long list of things, I believe I’ve started experiencing braxton hicks, I could be wrong but every now and then I raise an eyebrow or two, but obviously nothing too alarming to worry me. Baby moves a lottt, I can tell he’s running out of room in there and he likes to bounce off the walls when I’m ready to sleep or relax. As the days pass by I start to feel more excited, nervous, and powerful. To know that I’ll be birthing a human I grew in my body is crazy and in only 49 days or less. The nursery aka our shared room is coming together quite nice, I was able to put away the tons of gifts from the baby shower and I also hand painted the letters for his name. I’ll share pictures of the whole room once it’s completely done.

Overall, I’m happy.As I posted on my IG, sharing my body for the past 8 months with a little person has been an experience mentally, emotionally, and physically. I think we all envision how our lives will be, when we’ll have kids, get married, etc. we paint this ideal picture and it’s never how things unfold 9/10.

Had I known I would be meeting my son so soon I would’ve prepared better, did some things differently, but some things we can’t prepare for, life just forces us to react and adapt. Some journeys are meant to change us and I embrace this change that’s taking place. I’ve never felt more beautiful, more powerful, more able. I can finally say I’m no longer searching for anything, everything is within me, literally. I’ve found myself for good and I owe it all to the dopest version of me that’s emerging. I always see people stare in awe at their baby’s with “I never knew a love like this” written all over their faces and it’s true. I haven’t even given birth yet and I already can’t imagine life without my son. Definitely my biggest blessing thus far, I’m so grateful for all that I have. If you are a mother or soon to be mother, quite frankly if you are a woman, you should feel strong and empowered. There’s so much magic in creating life, so much magic in being a woman.

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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below.

Discussing Pregnancy with A Mommy To Be: Me!

Deciding to create a comfy corner on the blog to fill with exciting advice, experiences, tips, stories, and anything helpful I come across as I journey to childbirth and beyond has been one of my greatest ideas. This is a place for expectant mothers and mother’s to come and feel empowered and ready to take on the world. Even if you aren’t expecting or a mother just yet, and just starting your research on what it’s like and what you need to know, you’ve come to the right place! Instead of having several tabs open on Google just stop on by and take a seat.

I usually choose a mother or mother to be to interview but this time around I decided to take a seat with myself and answer the same questions I’ve been asking mother’s.

First and foremost, how does it feel to be growing and nurturing a little human so far?

Pregnancy has been an amazing process for me. It’s true that the first trimester is the worst, that’s where I experienced all my sickness but as I progressed I learned each trimester brings its own aches and pains and new journeys. Aside from that, it’s been an experience to say the least, I still can’t believe in just a few weeks I will be birthing my son.

How far along are you? What are you having? Tell us a bit about yourself.

For those who don’t know, I just spoiled it in the previous question but I’m having a boy. This is my first child and I will be 8 months in about a week or so. I’ll admit, it’s a bit weird answering my own questions on my blog because I feel like “oh they already know” but I can’t assume. Plus I always like to give info for new readers.

I’m 23, soon to be 24 in May. Me and my son will be sharing a birthday month so that’s very exciting. I consider myself an entrepreneur, creator, and writer with a BA in Psychology from Temple University. I currently work in a school doing Behavioral Health Work. In addition to recently self-publishing my 3rd book I blog here with an intent to Uplift, Empower, & Inspire.

I’m really kind-hearted and genuine in everything I do, in my spare time I write, draw, and paint. Oh and sometimes I binge watch Netflix and play the sims. I love role-playing games, they’re fun.

How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant? The emotions are real, how did you react?

To be honest, I cried. I wasn’t expecting my test to be positive I was only about a day or 2 late so I was super nonchalant when I took it. I didn’t have any symptoms besides my regular PMS but I started getting scared when both of my period trackers predicted dates and Aunt Flo didn’t show up on either of those days because if one wasn’t right, the other was. I cried out of fear, I was scared I felt unready I had just moved back home from having my own apartment, I wasn’t secure with working, there were was a lot going on in my life (I can probably write a book on that time and the months leading up to it lol, that’s how crazy it was), and at the time the thought of a baby just added on so much more stress that I was already experiencing. But my mind was made up, I knew I had to handle my responsibility and get myself together.

So far, what would you say is your favorite part about being pregnant? Or do you even like being pregnant? I know how exhausting it can get, some people just want to hurry up and give birth.

Being pregnant has its ups and downs, the best part would be feeling my son move. Sometimes I thinks he plays tag with me or he could be telling me to stop tapping him as he sleeps but him responding to my touch makes my day. I do want May to hurry and get here because I’m getting to the very uncomfortable stage of pregnancy but truth be told I might miss my belly. But hurting when I walk, the increased heartburn, exhaustion, trying to find comfortable positions to sleep, the feeling of having a baby right under your ribs, plus more, yeah those things I can do without lol.

Are you scared to give birth? What have been some of your worries so far?

Ahh, I just had this conversation yesterday in my prenatal group session. The thought of giving birth makes me feel both powerful and very nervous. Nervous because I don’t know what to expect and although I can’t go off of anyone else’s experience I love reading and watching labor & deliver stories. I’m just worried about the level of pain and if everything will go smoothly with my delivery and baby. So I’ve just been praying super hard for a complication free labor, delivery, and baby because besides preparing myself that’s all I can do instead of worrying myself to death.

Did you have any symptoms before you found out you were pregnant? If so, what were they? Do/Did you have any symptoms during early pregnancy or now?

I didn’t have any symptoms before I found out, the only thing out of the ordinary was my left boob had bothered me more than usual and of course my period not showing up. Early in my pregnancy I was really tired and sick all of the time. As of now, almost everything I eat gives me heartburn, I’m back to being tired all of the time, my back hurts 99% of the time, and most times I just feel uncomfortable as he continues to grow because he likes to sit right under my ribs and it’s very very uncomfortable. Also my legs and hips bother me when I walk far distances.

It takes a lot to raise a child, go to work, and do whatever else it is that needs to be done. But Mommy’s also want to have fun every now and then. How do you plan to juggle life, work, and raising a new baby? Can we even plan that far ahead or do you think it’s something we’ll learn as we go through the process?

Given the fact that I’m not a person who goes out often, even before I got pregnant this won’t be a hard task for me. I have a great support system and his father is just as excited for his birth, so if I did want to go out I don’t believe I’d have a problem. Juggling tasks may be difficult in the beginning but I’m sure I’ll find my way, just have to take the days as they come.

I feel like self-care is really important, especially for expecting mothers. What kind of self-care techniques do you use to refrain from becoming overwhelmed with growing a human and daily life? Most importantly, what do you do to relax and get your mental together?

Self-care is important to me but it doesn’t take much for me to center myself. Most days I’ll listen to music, self-reflect, binge watch Netflix, or just do things I enjoy. My job can be overwhelming so when needed I’ll take a mental health day and stay home. Me blogging and answering these questions right now are a form of self-care for me. Most importantly, I listen to my body, when I need to rest, take a break, go to sleep, etc. I do so.

How do you think the transition will be? Going from being someone’s child to someone’s parent.

I have some experience with children and caregiving from family members, prior work positions, so I don’t think it will be that hard to transition as the transition already starts before you give birth. A lot of things I’ve endured and experienced has subconsciously prepared me to be a mother.

Did/do you have any food cravings?

In the beginning I wanted hot wings all the time, then it shifted to ice cream cakes, ice cream, pizza, lasagna, all things I shouldn’t be eating. But food is just way too good, I swear it tastes even better when you’re pregnant.

Reflecting back on the person you were in your teenage years and even before pregnancy. How would you say getting prepared to be a mother has changed that?

Pregnancy has changed my outlook on a lot of things, relationships, life, work. Overall, it has been an eye opener, you start to see things for what they are and what they could/should be. I start putting myself first indefinitely as its not only me I have to worry about now, but a smaller and more fragile human being. My responsibilities and priorities have shifted so my mindset has shifted in several areas.

When did you announce to the world that you were pregnant?

I waited until I got my first ultrasound at 12 weeks. I wanted to make sure everything was okay and that’s also when it became real to me, seeing that there was really a baby inside of me.

What do you think the hardest thing about motherhood will be?

This is a hard one even for me, I would probably say not being able to shield my son from the evils of the world as he grows. I can prepare him to the best of my ability but its scary out here, especially for black boys and men. I doubt that I will because I have confidence in my mothering skills, but I also never want to feel like I’ve failed him in any way.

Do you have a birth plan (natural, medicated, etc.)?

I want to go natural but it’s something I will play by ear, meaning it depends on my pain level and tolerance and how things go once I go into labor.

We all worry and motherhood increases that worry 10x. What’s your biggest worry about your child’s future? And as a mother, what’s your biggest fear about the journey of motherhood?

As far as my child’s future, I’m building the foundation for him now to ensure he has a great future. My only hope is that he grows up and makes good decisions for himself. When it comes to motherhood, I’m confident that I’ll be a good mother but the fear of the unknown is definitely a thing. Children are unpredictable just as life is.

One thing you never had that you want for you kid/kid(s) if you choose/want to have more in the future?

I never went without growing up and I want my children to be the same way, I always had what I needed. Of course I want more for my children, so I want them to have much more, I want them to explore the resources around them. Play sports, play instruments, learn a different language, it’s my goal to ensure that they aren’t hindered in any way and are educated on several things.

How important do you think it is for new mothers and mothers in general to have support through pregnancy and motherhood?

Support is very important! I couldn’t imagine not having a support system because pregnancy is not something anyone should have to go through alone so I tip my hat to the mothers who do go through it alone. This is a timeframe of many emotions, fears, questions, aches and pains, physical changes, it’s a lot to endure. Women are tested in their mental, spiritual, and physical well-being during pregnancy so support is crucial.

Did you have an idea of what being pregnant would feel like? How has that changed?

I had no idea, I always wondered; Whenever someone I knew got pregnant I always asked “How does it feel?” It was a foreign experience, something I heard about but of course knew nothing about in regards to what it actually felt like. So my perception hasn’t necessarily changed, I just know how my own experience feels.

Would you say your relationship has changed with your partner/baby’s father since finding out you were pregnant?

In some instances, yes. In some areas we became closer but I feel it’s a given that things will change as you transition from dating to now having to raise a child together. We’re still journeying through and taking things day by day. We disagreed on a lot but learning to communicate and compromise has helped.

Do you find it weird when people touch your belly?

Not really a little awkward at times but not unless it’s a stranger, then that would be weird lol.

You’re in a crowded store with a full cart and your baby starts throwing a tantrum. What do you do?

Try to calm him down using techniques that he likes while trying to figure out why he’s throwing a tantrum and handle it accordingly.

How do you plan to bond and strengthen your relationship with your baby? Do you do any bonding now while he/she is in the womb?

I rub my stomach and get him to respond to my touch and I talk to him. When he’s born he’s getting smothered with tons of love he may get sick of me to be honest.

Do you plan to breastfeed, bottle-feed, or both? Why or why not?

I plan to breastfeed since that’s the healthier way to go. I’m open to formula only if it’s necessary but I want to breastfeed.

Craziest or funniest thing you’ve googled so far about your pregnancy or pregnancy in general?

I’ve googled so many things I’m not even sure what I would categorize as the craziest or funniest to be honest.

Anything else you want to share about pregnancy or motherhood? Advice, tips, etc.?

Take it easy, enjoy the experience and make the best out of your pregnancy. There will be days where you look and feel a mess and that’s normal. There will be days where you feel sad for no reason, you will probably cry at the drop of a dime but it’s all apart of the process. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing if you take the time to think about what you and your body is doing.

Be sure to check out my interviews with other mommy’s and mommy to be’s!

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below.

Cheer Up, It’s Springtime!

Happy Wellness Wednesday and welcome back to the blog! As Winter season comes to an end it may not feel that way outside. With the first day of Spring just six days away I’ve been thinking of some ways to get back into an upbeat mood while focusing on wellness. The cold season can bring more down moods and depression but brighter days are ahead! Our health and mental wellness should always be our top priority but sometimes it gets placed on the back burner for things we find more important whether its work, daily life, etc.

Although there may still be snow on the ground in some places, spring time energy starts blossoming when March rolls around. With energies picking up spring is a time and opportunity for growth, expansion, and transformation. Nature is waking up from winter dormancy, it’s time for you to do the same. These springtime health tips will help you tune into the season so you can rise to your fullest potential.

Stay hydrated– First and foremost, listen to your body. Your body will tell you what you need, tune in. If you’re feeling extra tired, get some rest, drink some water, stay hydrated. Do what you need to do to feel 100%.
Renew your resolutions – Remember those New Year resolutions you made? How are you doing with those goals? Many resolutions involve making or breaking habits. Most of these resolutions fail because we don’t always have the energy to get things moving during the cold season. Partner that with lack of strategy and willpower and we have nothing getting done. Revisit those resolutions now and see if spring time proves to be a better time to start hashing out your resolutions and goals.
Get in a springtime mood – Brighter days, the sun stays out longer, cast out those negative thoughts you may have that robs you of your energy and embrace the positive.
Spring clean your house – Did you know that clutter can affect your health too? Disorganization makes it difficult to find items you need and can contribute to your frustration.
Start carrying a water bottle with you – It’s a lot easier to stay hydrated when you have the water right next to you.
Look for a new healthy recipe, and then actually make it! How many times do you pin a new recipe on pinterest but don’t actually cook it? How many times do we all say we’re going to start eating better and then continue to eat the same?
Challenge your brain – read a new book, do Sudoku, complete a crossword puzzle, or try your hand at a logic puzzle.
Love & Connect – It’s true that Valentine’s Day is long gone, but our focus on love, whether self-love or love for others, shouldn’t be.
Exercise – Walking, yoga, you name it, It helps clear the mind and body. Getting out and taking a walk as you talk, or going for a run can make a huge difference in your day. When you exercise you release endorphins, and that also helps to promote creativity.
Renew Relationships – Get out and enjoy the spring weather with your friends and family. Research has shown that good, strong relationships benefit your overall health and happiness.

All of these are essentially self-care techniques. Taking care of yourself through all seasons is very important but just in case you aren’t feeling 100% there, hopefully the spring can bring some cheer and newfound motivation.

How are you springing into spring with renewed energy and vitality? Do you find something else helpful? If so, share it with me and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What’s New?
Aside from the latest blog post that are waiting to be read, I have published my third book! If you’ve kept up with the blog then you’ve probably read the snippets. They are no longer available but the feedback has been nothing but good. The Key To My Brother’s Heart – Kennedy’s Reign is now available in electronic and paperback editions. It’s available electronically on Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle as well as paperback on Amazon.

Order Now (Paperback)

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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

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Why Close Relationships May Change During Pregnancy.

While pregnancy is often a different experience for each expecting mother, there are some things that may be similar. One thing I found that a few pregnant women have in common is feeling like people forget about them or rather “fall back” from them in their own way. I’ve experienced this a bit myself with my social circle. If you become pregnant you’ll see that the invites decrease or stop altogether. People may not reach out as often or stop reaching out. You may have to initiate outings and conversations until you get fed up with doing so. Things not only change physically for an expecting mother, but socially.

I found myself googling “people forget about you when you’re pregnant” and various posts and pages popped up to show me I was not alone in my thinking. Although you may not “actually” be alone and your support system is there, there are days where you may feel well…alone. That’s because you realize that you and those people you once communicated with are in different stages of life now and sometimes you’re the first out of your group of friends to have kids. While you’re getting prepared to be a mother your friends concerns and obligations are at a different level and phase. It can definitely suck to watch everyone around you have fun but it’s also important for people to note that pregnancy does not equate to being “unable”. Pregnant people like to have fun too and there are various things to do that doesn’t involve drinking, drugs, or money. To better explain what I mean, I found a few comments posted on a forum about this exact topic:

“Anyone else feel like your friends forget you exist when you’re pregnant? I’m 28 and most of my friends haven’t had children yet so maybe that is why but it seems like no one wants to hang out with you when you’re pregnant. It doesn’t help that my husband works away and is gone for weeks at a time (3 weeks at work and 3 at home) or that I’m hormonal. I’m so bored!”

“Omg. Yes. Every single day I can’t help but get so angry when I think about how neglected I’m feeling. I understand why my friends have kind of forgotten me… pregnancy is boring for a bunch of 21 year olds who have no kids or responsibility. Plus I can’t really do anything fun anymore anyway. Too broke and tired and fat hahaha.

But still. I get really upset when I think about how close we were before and how excited everyone was when I found out I was pregnant, and how quickly they all just faded away. I cry about the loneliness a lot 😦 and my BF works 24 hour shifts at a time, every other day. So I know how you feel about being just SO bored and alone 😦“

A particular comment stood out to me and helped me realize that there is a two way street when it comes to pregnancy. While you may be going through changes, people you have relationships with may feel like a change is taking place also. That change can be in conversation, responsibilities, outings, etc. The problem is two-sided, while an expectant mom may feel neglected, the friend or close relationship may feel like there is no space or time for them in your life anymore. Here’s what it said:

“Don’t forget, the pendulum swings both ways. Maybe your friends feel neglected from you as well. Or maybe they don’t want to hear about pregnancy stuff.

It’s hard for us pregnant women, we’re carrying and growing a child so it’s what we think about 24/7. Therefore we can talk about it 24/7! It can become very difficult to hear about it constantly when you’re the “friend”.

Try to make the effort with them first and keep the pregnancy talk to a minimum, focus on them. They will ask about your pregnancy if they’re good friends, so you should get the opportunity to tell them exciting things you’re thinking! If they don’t reciprocate after that, maybe join some pregnancy classes and make new relatable friends 🙂“

When you announce a pregnancy people automatically see you as a mother and the problem is with some, that becomes your only identity.

There’s a shift in relationships that take place, not with all, but with a few it will be noticeable and you’ll find yourself saying, “things have changed.” When you announce a pregnancy people automatically see you as a mother and the problem is with some, that becomes your only identity. Mother is a big title but mothers still have lives and mothers are their own person, yes things will change because as a mother you are now responsible for a human being but that’s not all. We are still capable of having conversations about other things, still capable of going out. Even when we can’t go out, an invitation or knowing you’re thought of is nice.

So why does this shift happen? Have you ever been pregnant or currently expecting and wondered why you and a few people have fell off? Or maybe you’re the close relationship and you’re wondering as well or can relate in some way.

I’ve done my research and there’s a few more reasons I didn’t note above as to why you and a friend or family member, etc. may decrease in socialization when you’re the one expecting.

They are giving you your space – while that’s understandable and appreciated this is often the time an expecting mother needs that extra support the most if they are close to someone relationship wise, especially if she’s a first time mother trying to grasp the process of growing life and still carrying out everyday living. Sometimes that space can feel like abandonment and like the person they needed or would have liked to be around, wasn’t.
They don’t talk “baby” – when you’re expecting you sometimes get so excited and rant and rave about babies, babies, and more babies by default. Honestly sometimes people don’t want to talk about that or feel they can’t relate and don’t reach out, out of fear that’s where the conversation will head. But those who are expecting are capable of talking about other things. It takes two to have a conversation one person doesn’t and shouldn’t have to lead, it should flow amongst those involved so change the topic and if that doesn’t work tell your expecting friend how you feel and vice versa, communication is key.
Truth be told, you are less compatible – some friends and people are for different phases of our lives. One person may be your turn up buddy, the other, your venting partner and so on. It becomes a question of what stage your friends and close relationships are at in life…if they have families of their own and if they share the same priorities you do.
It’s not them, it’s you – Yes, it can be you. You can be at fault when it comes to maintaining relationships. Maybe you aren’t including people or they feel left out of your journey. Maybe you aren’t contacting them as often as you think or checking up on them. Life doesn’t stop when you become pregnant; your friends and family still have a life of their own and sometimes they need advice or to vent about their own problems. In the midst of preparing to be a good mom, your relationships may suffer. You may become so engulfed in your new baby preparation and excitement that everything else goes out the window. Some people are understanding and that’s why they give you space, others may not understand and those relationships may drift off and ultimately end.

The list can go on but it all comes down to the individual and those involved as to why your relationships may be shifting. It’s not just one person at fault as it takes two to communicate and nurture those relationships. All parties involved have to understand that everyone is going through their own changes and adjusting to a new life being brought into the equation. If you feel your close relationships aren’t as supportive or involved, open that door of communication just as if you are the friend or close relationship and feel like the expecting mother isn’t as inclusive or you feel neglected in a way. It all comes down to communication and understanding. If nothing changes then you know that relationship has ran its course, some people just aren’t interested in being apart of certain journey’s.

A great read to accompany this post:

“An Open Letter to My Friends Who Don’t Have Kids“

“Discussing Pregnancy with a Mommy To Be” – Sherrie
Discussing Motherhood With Katrina
A Letter To My Black Son

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions below.

Behind The Scenes with Reid

Each Thursday (who am I kidding, it can be on any day), we get a closer look into creativity and business; I will be sharing a mix of 13 small business, brands, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and creators while highlighting and sharing an interview with one. Today I had the pleasure of taking a virtual seat with Reid aka Miss Moss The Boss! Me and Reid go way back to high school days and since then she’s become a close friend and girl boss so it was only right that I took the time out to get behind the scenes and lens of her camera. She’s a videographer and youtuber with over 5k subsribers and over 400k views! Take a seat and join us as we discuss her creativity and passion.

Creators & Entrepreneurs

a closer look into creativity & business.

Me: First and foremost thanks for having a virtual seat with me! You’re a creator, you record, and you influence through visuals. When did you realize you enjoyed being in front and in back of the camera?

Reid: Believe it or not I have always loved the camera and performing in some capacity. When I first got the opportunity to get a camera I became a natural in front of it. My YouTube career started at around 14 when I decided to start recording my own show and dancing and singing videos. I knew then I would always love video visual content.

Me: Tell us a little about your Youtube channel first, were you afraid to start vlogging and sharing parts of your personal life? What kind of videos can we find on your channel? I tried vlogging before but realized my life isn’t all that interesting lol.

Reid: My youtube channel has evolved over the years and it will always evolve. However, it has the foundation of showing my testimony in the journey of becoming the woman I imagine to be. Vlogging can be pretty uncomfortable and it allows you to be so vulnerable for potentially millions of people to see. This is something I always keep in mind and when I’m editing or filming I tend to try and take that into perspective. Although I like to keep it real and raw I still want to always try to respect my audience, potential audience and my peace. I don’t ever want to feel like my whole life and whole self is under everyone’s speculation. On my channel you can find advice/inspiration, day in my life vlogs, reviews, first time experience and growth captured.

Me: What was your purpose behind creating a channel? Tell our readers a little about yourself and what you put out into the world through your videos.

Reid: My purpose really was to do something I enjoy and document moments hoping that my documentation shows a narrative of accepting all of you. Analyzing yourself, being transparent and living life as much as I can. It’s kind of my own way of journaling at times, just visual. As much as I always want to do something that will help someone in some way and I’m not afraid to be transparent, rewatching my vlogs and videos is so rewarding. I see so much growth in myself and because I’m a true sociologist I just analyze the videos so much and notice every aspect (even the ones that aren’t filmed) and feel thankful. Rereading the comments and knowing that people I never even met can truly relate to the things I am going through and knowing we find comfort in each other is what is truly a blessing.

Me: How much effort would you say it takes to record and edit videos? I feel like some people think it’s as easy as 1-2-3. Is that case?

Reid: YouTube is truly a full time job. Editing and Recording, Pre production and post production is A LOT. Many have this misconception that it is that way but when you are serious and have huge goals there are a lot of things you need to know and learn. My boyfriend likes to remind me all the time that as a YouTuber I am my own production team since I am the kind of youtuber that really cares about editing style, content actually being enjoyable, and making sure my audience get’s it at a time of their availability. In addition Youtube isn’t this platform that doesn’t give you a bunch of technical issues so between all those issues and then just the daily grind and work behind concepts, recording, editing and pressure of the youtube culture. THIS IS NOT EASY : )

Me: What do you consider a successful Youtuber to be?

Reid: Honestly, a successful youtuber is someone who is consistent, genuine and enjoys it. Someone being themselves and not lost in the Youtube culture of popularity and “keeping up with the Jones”, no matter the size of their following or views.

Me: You’ve also used your talent to start your own business MossMovesMedia, you create visuals for others, what was your motivation behind taking that step?

Reid: I’m not going to lie, initially I really wanted to just be able to perfect my craft and earn finances given that I was having such a difficult time. However, I realized that wasn’t enough. I like to have a deeper purpose in all that I do, and I realized that I can use my business as a full media platform. So currently, I am working on how I want that to look and so far I think I want my passion of sharing and creating various narratives of people of color to be showcased. So showcase my work and then showcase people providing positive narratives and making an impact in marginalized communities. Also I want to showcase other entrepreneurs, artist, scholars, creators etc.

Me: This is a question I like to ask everyone because it’s important; It takes a lot of focus and discipline to build a brand and you yourself are ultimately your brand. The work you put out ultimately speaks for itself. What kind of self-care techniques do you use to refrain from becoming overwhelmed with juggling life, work, and creating new content, what do you do to relax and get your mental together? If you don’t have any what kind of self-care techniques would you like to incorporate?

Reid: Self care is essential and I am still working on what’s best for me. However, so far I take full days of just relaxation, I tell myself to not work on anything on Sundays. Literally only thing I do is chill, watch Netflix, journal, and drink water, and then go live and wine down with my subbies/family. My subbies are fam! Lol but my lives be so loose and not restricted so I just do those to end the night. But self care for me is trying to not think cause my mind is ALWAYS running.

Me: I recently saw that you write as well, do you plan on doing anything with it or is it just something you enjoy doing in your spare time?

Reid: I actually do. I don’t know if I want to give you ALL the tea just yet, BUT yes I will def be doing something with my writing soon. Hint: Everything will all be coming together as one in a few years lol Stay tuned!

Me: Lol, I definitely feel that, I’m still working on tying all that I enjoy doing into one too! What do you do to get you in the right mood to create? What’s your ideal work environment?

Reid: Sunlight, space, and white walls, or peaceful sounds. Being around other people who are creative or determined to create or execute what they are passionate about. Sometimes I can turn on my soothing music with artist like Daniel Caesar playing as well. I just like to have clear space and a lot of natural light If I am not outside and will prefer a desk or something cause the bed sometimes makes me too tempted to sleep.

Me: What does “being creative,” mean to you?

Reid: Being creative means tapping into your thoughts and emotions freely without restriction and then expressing them in the best way you can to share with other individuals to either interact with or to experience in some way as well. I believe that creativity is something we all have it’s just the matter of which muse we use to let it be shown.

Me: What are some of the goals you hope to achieve with both your business and with your Youtube channel?

Reid: Most importantly I want to inspire and assist people in some capacity with both my business and channel. I hope to become more consistent and just continuously grow with both of them. I hope they both bring many learning experiences and open doors for not just myself but others as well in some shape, way, or form.

Me: Do you have a specific audience you gear your videos towards, or can everyone watch and take something away from it?

Reid: Depending on the series, the target audience varies. I am leaning more towards content for everyone, however I know my current audience loves that I am real and I am totally me myself and sometimes I’m not always for everyone, and I know that, but I want to always feel like I am for me first, and then for the people second.

Me: Has your idea of what a Youtuber and Videographer is changed since you’ve started doing both?

Reid: YES! My views of being a youtuber and a videographer has changed soooo much now that media has become such a popular and easy accessed field. Its extremely challenging and my time management has been tested so much now.

Me: What kind of work are you most drawn to watching yourself? Do you find yourself watching work similar to your own, or completely different? Do you have a favorite Youtuber or videographer?

Reid: I am drawn to content that I can tell the creator put effort into trying to assure it has some “extra-ness” to it. So I like love vlogs that actually allow me to follow a story, or I see the creator put effort in editing and the aesthetic. I love watching consistent people and people whose personality shines through their content. It reminds me of the genuineness of the content and the individualism which I like to say is something I always try to let shine through my work.

Me: For me, I know it’s often hard to commit to writing and releasing content on a daily basis. Do you sometimes have the same problem or do you release content whenever you feel like it and don’t hold yourself to a schedule? How do you balance creating and life?

Reid: I am always battling myself about consistency. I pray to one day have a schedule and bust our awesome content. However, right now I’m still figuring it out and recently I watched another creator on Youtube named Lavendaire talk about the habits that make a successful creator. In her video she reminded me that in a sense the small wins are what matter before your get to your big goal. She said “it’s better to get it done rather than working on it until it’s perfect or up to your expectation!” which to me is the mentality I would like to have and remember when I’m producing content so that this way I can still be consistent and will technically be showing that I am consistently growing.

Me: Motivation can be hard to find and upkeep. How do you motivate yourself to keep the channel up and running?

Reid: I talked to people and recognized how passionate or detailed I can describe the process of Youtube. I also watch old vlogs of myself and read old comments. Those memories remind me of my why, and I love it.

Me: What have been some of your failures so far on this journey?

Reid: My lack of consistency and the transition of figuring out what my audience now wants from me rather than just what I want from my channel and just getting the same engagement now that I am out of college and no longer a college vlogger.

Me: How do you get people to interact with your work? How do you gain your audience? Do you find social media beneficial for that?

Reid: I try to keep things relatable, ask questions and I’m now thinking of adding more movable visual promotions. I also go live and build rapport. I do think my social media is beneficial to my engagement. However, I think with everyone becoming so savvy and us being such a microwave society we are now looking for more than just a flyer or a picture or promo video. We need concepts or an extra edit for something that will make things stand out and I think that’s where I’m trying to improve.

Me: Some creators are also active in other creative areas, what are some of your favorite non-media activities?

Reid: I love singing even though I don’t think I am amazing, I think I can hold a note. I love to dance and write stories. Favorite things is writing a story in free write and developing a climax and making that story seem so relatable. Journaling in itself has become my own creative way of releasing.

Me: What advice would you give someone who is interested in starting their own Youtube channel or starting their own business for the first time? What advice would you give to someone who is pursuing their dreams and talents?

Reid: If you are looking to start your own youtube channel or business be aware that overnight success is not common, consistency is key and DO YOUR RESEARCH! Your dreams take time. Take risk to achieve whatever you see fit but be patient with yourself and always always have faith in everything you do.

Me: Excluding yourself, are there any people in the world that you admire? Any people in general that inspire or motivate you?

Reid: My mom is my number one idol. She’s really the woman I embody to be like most and who motivates me the most in every endeavor. Youtuber: Shameless Maya, Bramty Juliette, Uneak Tershai, Devonte the dreamer, and Aaliyah Jay lol (I love her snapchat it motivates me cause she be living her best life). My friends motivate me as well. Definitely you Breyana! Literally such an inspiration to me just knowing I can do it all.

Me: To be included in that is an honor! It’s always my motive to inspire in some way so I’m glad I could be of inspiration. Your consistency inspires me as well; there’s nothing like having friends you can find motivation in/from. If you could change just one thing about our society through your work, what would it be?

Reid: I want to attempt to change the way we view people of color. Provide more positive images, relatable on a larger scale for not just people who are of color, but for people who aren’t of color to see that we all go through things with similar themes and even if you don’t relate there’s a way to empathize or still understand someone’s experience.

Me: I think that’s a really good idea! What makes your videos and visuals unique?

Reid: Honestly I’m my WORST critic so the only thing I can say is that I really think of clever edits that will either give my audience a flash back or make them smile. If not you will always find a lesson or something in the visuals or video that you can learn from, small and big lessons. For more of my visuals that’s aren’t youtube related I am still finding my style but I want to assure all my projects have a purpose that progresses narratives or inspires people or makes them feel good.

Me: As a creative individual, do you believe that you perceive the world differently from other people? What role do you think emotions play in your creative process?

Reid: As a sociologist and a womanist and then as a creative I really look at the world differently. I think my emotions and understandings play a huge role in how I create and what I edit and what I release for everyone to engage with.

Me: Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Reid: In five years, I see myself getting noticed in some way for my work in regards to flim, tv and web series. I also see my channel to be more of what I envision in regards to content quality. I see me being able to be a philanthropist and acting. I really see that in the next 5 years I will be more balanced in the many hats of my business, brand, and my spirit that will allow me to really start blessing others.

Me: Fun fact about yourself?

Reid: I literally have visuals that I create in my head to almost every song I listen to and envision myself in most of them.

Me: Anything else you’d like to share? Advice, tips, motivation, etc.

Reid: Always remember your why and be okay with growth because no one stays the same. You are at the center of your dreams and can do anything you put your mind to. Failure is okay, its just a step closer to getting to where you are going.

Me: Drop your socials so we can be sure to follow you!

Subscribe to my Youtube Channel : youtube.com/missmossthebosstv
Instagram: @Missmosstheboss
Twitter: @LittleMissMoss_ go report the @missmosstheboss page so I can get the handle lol
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MissMosstheBoss/

Business Handles

Instagram: @MossMovesMedia
Twitter:@MossMovesMedia
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MossMovesMedia

If you need help with your digital marketing & branding be sure to Book @MossMovesMedia for all of your media wants and needs. That includes youtube intros, banners, end cards or editing services for your small businesses! Be sure to Follow them for daily inspiration to MAKE A MOVE and GROW your business.

Thanks for allowing us to take a peek into your life and many crafts Reid!

Related Post:

Note that my first two self-published books are still available for purchase. You can find reviews and product information on my site (findingyourself.bigcartel.com) while you’re there you can also take a look at the accompanying products. Be sure to stay in the loop by following @chooseyoualways on Instagram.

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Money Making Apps and Websites!

It’s very hard to come by ways of making some extra money on the side. I can’t recall how many times I’ve ran to google looking for different sources of income. While I still haven’t found many sources that I trust, I have found a few apps/websites I enjoy using that either saves money, provides cash back, or gives you money for referring friends or taking surveys.

If you’re impatient then using apps to gain cash may not be the route for you as most require a certain amount of points before you can cash out. This method is for people who won’t mind taking some time when they’re free to build up points. In no way are these apps going to get you rich but they will put a few extra dollars in your pocket.

Swagbucks – A sure way to put cash back in your wallet! Swagbucks.com is the web’s most popular rewards program that gives you free gift cards and cash for the everyday things you already do online. Earn points when you shop at your favorite retailers, watch entertaining videos, search the web, answer surveys and find great deals. Redeem points for gift cards to your favorite retailers like Amazon and Walmart or get cash back from Paypal.

How to earn points: Shop online (you get cash back for certain purchases), watch entertaining videos, search the web, answer surveys, and find great deals to earn points. You can also earn points by referring friends. For 2018 you’ll get 300 SB (swagbuck) points, equivalent to $3, when you refer a friend or family member but of course they would have to sign up and make an account in order for you to get your points. Also, you’ll get 10% of their earnings for life! That means if your friend earns 500 SB, you’ll get 50 SB and sharing is caring! With this app there is no set limit on when you can cash out. For example: a $3 Amazon gift card is 300 SB points, a $10 Amazon gift card is 1000 SB points, $25 in paypal cash is 2500 SB points, and the list goes on. Download it to check it out; Interested in downloading? Sign up (here) P.S. the app is not mandatory, this is a website as well, I found it better to use on the computer/phone browser but the app is convenient if you’re on the go.

MyPoints – This site is in partnership with Swagbucks so a lot of things are similar. You shop online, take surveys, watch videos, read email and more to earn Points. You redeem your Points for gift cards, travel miles or cash via PayPal. Referring friends also gets you points, earn when your friend accepts your invitation, you each earn when your friend spends $20 or more, and you get a bonus of all the eligible Points your friend earns. Your points can be redeemed for gift cards for many places like Boston Market, Burger King, iTunes, Amazon, BestBuy, and many more, all of which have their own point system regarding what you can get for the amount of points you have accumulated. There used to be an app but it no longer exists so this is an website/phone browser only option. Interested in signing up? Click( here )

Dosh – (**App only for iphone users**) – Dosh is a free cash back app that finds you $$ for shopping, dining out, and booking hotels and travel activities How it works? Simply download the Dosh app, securely connect your credit and debit cards, and live life as usual. Every time you use those cards, Dosh searches for available offers or coupons that match your transactions. If it finds one, Dosh automatically redeems the offer and converts it into cash, then deposits it directly into your Dosh wallet. I earned $5 just by linking my debit card and you earn $5 by referring friends but the things is, they have to link their card too in order for it to be considered a complete referral. To redeem your cash, transfer your cash into a bank account or PayPal, or donate it to a charity right from the app. With this app you do have to have a minimum of $25 in your Dosh wallet to cash out. Want to start earning some cash? Click (here)

InBox Dollars– (site/app, available to android and iphone users) – Inbox dollars is okay so far, I haven’t redeemed anything but I have been working on building my points. They provide direct cash rewards to members in the U.S. and U.K. for their everyday online activities, such as reading emails, taking surveys, playing games and signing up for offers similar to to the other sites I’ve mentioned. You have to reach $30 before you can cash out and the payout options are an InboxDollars eCard (to different retailers like Macy’s, Amazon, etc.), Prepaid Visa card, or Check. Interested in signing up with my referral code? Click (here), you get 10% of each friend’s qualified earnings. For every $1 they earn in Qualified Earnings, you earn $0.10.

Surveys On The Go – As far as I know this is only an app so far but it’s not limited to iphones, android users can also download it. Here is where we get into the tedious aspect of building up points, this app is exactly what it says, surveys. But the catch is, surverys are not always available. I have redeemed a $10 Paypal cash out so far by completing surveys but it didn’t happen in a few hours or even a week, it takes some time to build up points. Survey matches are based on your profile so updating your profile can potentially bring in new surveys. The good things is you can be notified each time surveys become available. To cash out you have to reach $10. There is no reward system, you get paid for surverys you complete and qualify for. Find the app (here).

There are many more apps and websites out there that provide cash back and cash for surveys, playing games, etc. the ones I mentioned are ones I’ve used myself and can form an opinion on. Here are a few I’ve heard of but haven’t used personally or haven’t used long enough to have an opinion:

Ibotta: You can get paid cash back just for taking a picture of your receipt. Sign up for Ibotta here (you just need a name and email address to start). Browse through the cash-back offers in your area and take note the next time you go to the store (the offers change every week). Once you’ve reached at least $20 in earnings, users can request payment via PayPal or Venmo. And right now, Ibotta is giving new users a $10 sign-up bonus when you redeem your first receipt.

Shopkick: Download the Shopkick app first. You can also use in website/browser. Once you sign up, the app pays you in “kicks” for walking into certain stores (including Target, Walmart, TJMaxx and more). These kicks can then be redeemed for gift cards to Target, Walmart, Starbucks, Sephora, Best Buy and more. It pays you even more kicks for scanning items in stores and purchasing them with a connected credit or debit card, as well as for scanning receipts and mobile shopping.

The Home Aesthetic

Vision boards have become a lot more common, we hear about vision board parties and gatherings where a group of people (mostly females) get together and set goals. Vision boards are often done on poster boards where you gather pictures, words, phrases, etc. of things you wish to see manifest in your life.

At the beginning of 2017 I attended a vision board party and it was really fun, I was surrounded by a group of women, we passed around magazines, ate refreshments, and sipped on wine, it was really nice to do. We also talked about why we chose certain things, told a bit about ourselves, our background, and endeavors we had going on. Vision boards are just a way to visualize your goals and future, for example, on mine I had “small business revolution” that I snipped from a magazine, “nurture your inner beauty“, “create“, and other words and phrases that I felt spoke to both what I wanted and needed at that phase in life. People incorporate pictures of many things like houses, cars, money, families, and the list goes on. There is no wrong way to do a vision board, it’s a vision of what you want your life to look like.

Mood boards are something that I’ve been hearing about but haven’t paid much attention to or rather I haven’t taken the time to shift my focus on the topic until today. I’ve always had the polyvore app on my phone, I would play around with different outfits but it never went anywhere so I’d delete it, get it again, and the pattern would repeat. What sparked my motivation today was that I was on adobe spark creating some things for my blog and came across something that said “mood board” but it was for distressed flowers and another for street art. I re-downloaded the app and instead of playing around with outfits I decided to do what’s called a furniture mood or inspiration board. I struggled with the difference between a vision and mood board until I actually sat down and got lost in finding different furniture pieces and putting them together to my liking. I’ve read that with a mood board you want to capture the essence of what you’re focusing on (in my case furniture), would provide for you; or your goal could even be what mood it would evoke in someone else. It’s more focused on how you want to feel and a fun fact, it’s used a lot in design projects. I went into it with no goal and I found it therapeutic but I’ve also always been interested in interior design. I have no wish to be an interior decorator just like when I played around with outfits I had no desire to be a stylist, but I’ve always liked following those type of pages for the aesthetics, it’s visually pleasing.

Here are the mood boards I did today:

Each board has it’s own style but I was in the mindset of relaxation with all of them, plants, art work, candles, even down to the color choices. I think they turned out pretty cool, I’ll be sharing some more in the future. If you’re interested in things like this, you should definitely try it out for fun. For me, it’s become something I’ll do when I want a piece of mind, it was quite relaxing and also fun to do, time actually passed me by as I focused on each board and the look/theme I was going for. Therefore it can definitely serve as a self-care activity.

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Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

“Discussing Pregnancy with a Mommy To Be” – Sherrie

“Journeying Through Motherhood”

Sherrie: A Mother to Be

Deciding to create a comfy corner on the blog to fill with exciting advice, experiences, tips, stories, and anything helpful I come across as I journey to childbirth and beyond has been one of my greatest ideas. I’m enjoying reading about other mother’s experience with pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. This is a place for expectant mothers and mother’s to come and feel empowered and ready to take on the world. Even if you aren’t expecting or a mother just yet, and just starting your research on what it’s like and what you need to know, you’ve come to the right place! Instead of having several tabs open on Google just stop on by and take a seat.

Today, I’ve had the pleasure of taking a virtual seat with Sherrie who was lovely enough to share her experiences of motherhood with me. Interesting enough we went to the same high school so it’s been nice to have someone who is close in weeks of pregnancy to share journeys with.

Me: Thanks for having a virtual seat with me and choosing to discuss this amazing thing called pregnancy. First and foremost, how does it feel to be growing and nurturing a little human so far?

Sherrie: It feels good. I was afraid at first because I didn’t know what to expect, but it’s a wonderful feeling knowing that my son is literally growing inside of me every single day. It hasn’t fully hit me yet, though. I don’t think it will until I’m actually birthing him.

Me: How far along are you? What are you having? Tell us a bit about yourself.

Sherrie: I am actually 6 months and two weeks today! I am having a boy. Everyone in my family except for like three people thought it would be a girl, but his father and I knew what he was since we were about 3 months along.

I am a senior at West Chester University and I am graduating in May. I am set to graduate May 12^th and my due date is set for May 29^th. I am hoping he’ll come right after graduation.

I’ve been with my boyfriend, his father, for two and a half years and he’s made this journey a very comfortable one.

Me: How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant? The emotions are real, how did you react?

Sherrie: When I first found out I was pregnant, I was excited. I kind of knew because my boyfriend kept telling me that I was, because I had been getting sick and I guess he noticed some changes in my body. I was a bit confused, but I was still excited. His father was excited as well. He was surprised, but still excited. I cried when I found out and I’m still not sure if it was out of fear or excitement.

Me: So far, what would you say is your favorite part about being pregnant? Or do you even like being pregnant? I know how exhausting it can get, some people just want to hurry up and give birth.

Sherrie: Honestly, being pregnant is one of the most tiring things I’ve ever had to endure. The first three months were hell because I threw up all day, every single day, and I could barely eat. Once the sickness died down, the heartburn came along. I still get heartburn at least 3 times a week. With all of that being said, I love being pregnant. Just the thought of bringing new life into the world makes all of this worth it. Plus, he’s starting to kick now, and although he wakes me up out of my sleep with his kicks sometimes, I still get really happy anytime I feel him move.

Me: Are you scared to give birth? What have been some of your worries so far?

Sherrie: I am not afraid to give birth even though people tell me that I should be. I also want a natural birth. I don’t want any drugs. I suggested a water birth/home birth to my boyfriend and he wasn’t having it. I also want my birth to be recorded as well. I want to witness it when I’m not pushing and screaming.

Me: Did you have any symptoms before you found out you were pregnant? If so, what were they? Do/Did you have any symptoms during early pregnancy or now?

Sherrie: Before I found out I was pregnant, the only symptoms I had experienced were morning sickness and my breasts were extremely sore. Early in my pregnancy those two symptoms stayed with me and heartburn came along. I also had to go to the emergency room twice because I was cramping early on. I’m glad it was nothing serious.

Me: It takes a lot to raise a child, go to work, and do whatever else it is that needs to be done. But Mommy’s also want to have fun every now and then. How do you plan to juggle life, work, and raising a new baby? Can we even plan that far ahead or do you think it’s something we’ll learn as we go through the process?

Sherrie: I believe that this is something that I’ll have to learn to balance. I know his father will make it easier, but I feel like I will get extremely attached to my baby and forget that I need to have fun too. I’m kind of just planning on taking it one day at a time.

Me: I feel like self-care is really important, especially for expecting mothers. What kind of self-care techniques do you use to refrain from becoming overwhelmed with growing a human and daily life? Most importantly, what do you do to relax and get your mental together?

Sherrie: I try to take very good care of myself since I have a little one inside me. I don’t fight my sleep anymore, I take long relaxing baths, I try not to stay in the house every single day, and I make sure I don’t stress myself out with school work and my job. I also talk to my boyfriend a lot. Anytime I feel like I’m becoming overwhelmed or I just need to decompress, I vent to him for hours and that helps me out a lot because he always reassures me that everything will be okay.

Me: How do you think the transition will be? Going from being someone’s child to someone’s parent.

Sherrie: I think the transition will be easier for me because I have three nephews and I’ve been present in their lives since the day they were born. They’ve taught me that children require patience and so much more. I changed their diapers and taught them new things and I’ve watched them grow literally every single day. I think they’ve unknowingly prepared me to be a mother.

Me: How is your pregnancy going so far? Did/do you have morning sickness or any complications? Did/do you have any food cravings?

Sherrie: My pregnancy is going very well so far. The three months of morning sickness has gone! I only get the other symptoms that I discussed earlier.

As far as food cravings go, I eat everything! I eat a lot! I always crave fruit and turkey breakfast sausages. I also crave spaghetti here and there. I eat at least 5 times a day, and at least 2 out of the 5 times, the meals are something I crave.

Me: Reflecting back on the person you were in your teenage years and even before pregnancy. How would you say getting prepared to be a mother has changed that?

Sherrie: Preparing to be a mother made me understand that I can’t just put things on the back-burner anymore. I have to get things done BEFORE it is time for them to be done. It isn’t just me anymore. I have to make sure I am on point with everything. I can’t be as careless as I once was.

Me: What do you think the hardest thing about motherhood will be?

Sherrie: This is a hard one. The hardest thing about motherhood for me will be raising a young black man in this social/political climate. I’m afraid. The world is a very scary place for black men.

Me: Do you have a birth plan (natural, medicated, etc.)?

Sherrie: I plan on having a natural birth. I don’t want any drugs.

Me: We all worry and motherhood increases that worry 10x. What’s your biggest worry about your child’s future? And as a mother, what’s your biggest fear about the journey of motherhood?

Sherrie: I don’t really have any worries about my child’s future at the moment. I’m sure it’ll hit me harder when he’s actually here, but right now, I am pretty positive about his future. I know what kind of person I am, and I know what kind of person his father is, and knowing these things assures me that my child is destined for greatness.

As a mother, my biggest fear about the journey of motherhood is not knowing what to expect. With being a mother, you learn as you go. Things happen that you can’t predict, and you have to adjust accordingly. You can’t lay out a plan and expect everything to stay in place. That’s what’s the scariest for me.

Me: One thing you never had that you want for you kid/kid(s) if you choose/want to have more in the future?

Sherrie: I want my children to be able to express themselves freely without someone trying to steer them toward a different path.

Me: How important do you think it is for new mothers and mothers in general to have support through pregnancy and motherhood?

Sherrie: I think support through pregnancy is very important. This is the time where the woman is most vulnerable. I admire women who go through pregnancy alone. They are strong. I don’t know how I would handle it if I had to do it by myself. Support through pregnancy is a must. Just having someone there whenever you need them through this time of endless emotions is probably the best thing ever. All women should have unlimited support while they’re going through pregnancy and I feel for anyone who thinks otherwise.

Me: Did you have an idea of what being pregnant would feel like? How has that changed?

Sherrie: I had no idea what it would feel like for me. I thought it would be more painful, so I’m glad I was wrong about that.

Me: Would you say your relationship has changed with your partner/baby’s father since finding out you were pregnant?

Sherrie: I would say it has gotten stronger. This was a surprise for the both of us, but he’s done very well with adjusting to the person that I’ve become since I’ve been pregnant. He’s very supportive and reassuring. He makes things easier.

Me: Do you find it weird when people touch your belly?

Sherrie: Not really. I used to like rubbing on my sister’s belly when she was pregnant. Some people just like to do it, I don’t think it is weird.

Me: You’re in a crowded store with a full cart and your baby starts throwing a tantrum. What do you do?

Sherrie: WOW. I would probably leave my cart and take my baby to the car to calm him down.

Me: How do you plan to bond and strengthen your relationship with your baby? Do you do any bonding now while he/she is in the womb?

Sherrie: I talk to him now. When he gets here, I plan on reading to him, and talking to him and giving him as much love and affection as I can.

Me: Do you plan to breastfeed, bottle-feed, or both? Why or why not?

Sherrie: I plan on breastfeeding. I’m not too crazy about formula.

Me: Craziest or funniest thing you’ve googled so far about your pregnancy or pregnancy in general?

Sherrie: Do I really want to share this? LOL I think I’ll pass.

Me: Anything else you want to share about pregnancy or motherhood? Advice, tips, etc.?

Sherrie: Try to enjoy your pregnancy, even when you’re in pain.

Thanks for sharing Sherrie!

Latest Related Post:

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.

Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram!

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Getting Artsy With Shelia

Each Thursday (who am I kidding, it can be on any day), we get a closer look into creativity and business; I will be sharing a mix of 13 small business, brands, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and creators while highlighting and sharing an interview with one. Today I had the pleasure of taking a virtual seat with Shelia, a photographer, artist, jewelry maker, a jack of all trades. I remember back when I focused on my photography business, and was looking for someone to model and at that time we just followed each other on social media and didn’t know each other and she agreed. That was one cold winter day years ago, and as the years have passed we’ve continued to watch each other grow in our brands and as woman. Today she’s giving us a peek into her creative process and how she balances life, creativity, and building a brand.

Creators & Entrepreneurs:

a closer look into creativity & business.

Me: First and foremost thanks for having a virtual seat with me! You’re a creator, you paint, you craft jewelry, you take pictures, and you even dabble in being in front of the camera here and there. Sheesh girl you do a lot and I love it, I didn’t miss anything did I? lol. When did you realize you had all of these talents?

Shelia: I do bartend and help curate events here and there as well, but you basically covered it all. A lot of my talents are ones I have had for a while that I honestly kept to myself or didn’t show often but within the last year or two I have been embracing my abilities and talents and growing with them.

Me: Wow, and you make time for all of these things, you’re dope. Tell us a little about yourself and your inspiration behind all that you do. Were you afraid to start sharing your creations with the world?

Shelia: I am 22 years old from Philly and the surrounding suburb, moved a few times. I went to Bloomsburg for a year, transferred to Temple, and I had to take a break because financially I couldn’t afford it. Now, I work 2 jobs (School District of Philadelphia/ TGI Fridays), as well as building my art brand. My inspiration comes from learning about artists such as Basquiat and Jackson Pollock, as well as learning about other art forms and mediums. Which includes batiking, paint pouring, resin, and spray painting. In addition, my very own mind, past and present and other peers give me a lot of inspiration.

I used to be very terrified to show my own no matter what it was because I feared judgment the most. I am a sensitive soul, so the thought of others critiquing my work was a major fear. But recently, as I am taking time as a woman to understand myself and find my peace and balances, I have learned to show off my abilities to others and embrace feedback. You never know who might love your work or who might need that little bit of inspiration themselves.

Me: It’s natural to be nervous to share such intimates part of yourself with the world. I’m glad you pushed through. You’ve recently started selling your own hand painted clothing. What are your plans with it? Where can we find your artwork and the things you create?

Shelia: The clothing used to be something I solely did for myself, to change up my style a little and to add a twist to some of the things I would purchase. When I was very young I would draw out clothing lines I created and then I just started actually creating shit. I would go thrifting and make my own high waisted jean shorts in the summer or distress and bleach old pairs. I would bleach my shirts and hoodies as well and I guess others started liking it and I realized this is something I could make a few bucks from. My goals for the clothing overall is to continue making custom pieces for people and perfecting that craft and possibly get some custom designs of my own printed on shirts too. As of right now you can find samples of my work on my instagram pages. I have a website coming soon.

Me: What do you consider a successful artist to be?

Shelia: A successful artist to me, is one who uses their talents and platform to give back in their community or in this world in some way. A successful artist is also a person who is able to network on all levels to leave their legacy in art in any form possible.

Me: You’ve used your talent to start your own business, what was your motivation behind taking that step?

Shelia: Art was a hobby for me always, it relieved my stress, I have always felt super free doing it. When I took time out for myself as a woman to realize what I wanted in life and what truly made me happy, art was almost on top. I wanted to continue pursuing my craft but I realized this is something I can make bigger, it was never a goal for me to sell, but once I made some profit in it, (mostly my jewelry) I had to get back to what truly made me happy and build my brand around that. That is what I am in the process of doing now.

Me: It takes a lot of focus and discipline to build a brand and you yourself are ultimately your brand. The work you put out ultimately speaks for itself. What kind of self-care techniques do you use to refrain from becoming overwhelmed with juggling life, work, and creating new content, what do you do to relax and get your mental together? If you don’t have any what kind of self-care techniques would you like to incorporate?

Shelia: I am a super busy person, I usually am always working whether it’s my actual 9-5 or my weekend job or my hustle or building my brand. My techniques to take time out for myself to avoid stress is mostly taking walks and smoking, it clears my head and lets me take a second away from everything especially in nature.

Me: What do you do to get you in the right mood to create? What’s your ideal work environment?

Shelia: I get in the right mood to create by setting the mood for myself. On a regular day, my mind is running faster than I can think which leads me to want to create SOMETHING..ANYTHING. So when I get time in the day (usually after work), I set that mood by of course smoking, that relaxes my mind which let my ideas flow smoother. Right now, I am not in the space I want to be. When I have my own place again, the mood will naturally be set; incense in the air, music playing always, my artwork as well as others on the wall, natural lighting, and supplies always around to create. Of course certain vibes and tones set a mood for me when I’m out or with people which will lead me to look up things to create or draw.

Me: What does “being creative,” mean to you?

Shelia: “Being creative” to me means opening up your mind and letting your ideas and mental flow artistically, expressing yourself, being diverse, knowing who you are and using that energy and freedom in art and media.

Me: Do you self-reflect or keep a journal or do you spill your thoughts through your artwork or both? Why or why not?

Shelia: I actually do all the above. I have a racing mind and I’m always thinking about something. I am taking a lot of personal time right now to self reflect A LOT. I am taking time as a young woman to figure out who I am, what I want, and what direction I am going and so on. I also kind of keep a journal, I write my thoughts daily, use a personal calendar, write to-do lists, write stories and my feelings in my notepad. I am a huge promoter of expressing your feelings, and letting everything in your mental out, so whether it is, speaking, drawing, or writing I’m all for it. Mine happens to be all three. As an artist, I release my thoughts through my art. I started drawing at a young age and noticed how it was helping my stress and my thoughts flow, it became therapeutic for me.

Me: What are some of the goals you hope to achieve with your artwork, business wise and personally?

Shelia: I would love to show my work on an international level at an event, festival, or gallery. I would love for a large company, dope brand, or business sponsor to collaborate on a piece or feature. In addition, seeing my work sold to households and being used in home décor as unique urban contemporary home décor would be amazing. Lastly, I would love to have my own show room or gallery.

Me: I think having a showroom would be a dope idea! Anything is possible, do you have a specific audience you gear your work towards, or can everyone take something away from it?

Shelia: Right now, based off the shows I vend, the environment, and the age group I am in, my audience is the young underground Philly based artists. I would love to gear my audience to all, many of the stories behind my work are very relatable as well social and cultural and political issues. I feel like everyone gets a different feeling once I go into the explanation of the piece and that’s something I love watching.

Me: Having people be able to relate to your work in some way or just like/enjoy it is always a rewarding feeling. Usually, a lot of things that creatives do tend to come together in a way. Out of all that you do, are any just hobbies? Or do you plan to do something with all?

Shelia: The jewelry making (bracelets, anklets, and waist beads) was something that was started as “a side hustle” and that is basically still what it is. I love it, I love the product I make and that’s how it started but I would never want to push with that because it isn’t my true passion.

Me: Has your idea of what an artist and creator is changed since you’ve gained experience with both?

Shelia: My idea of an artist and creator has grown more than ever. Taking the time to network and chill around other artists and creators has been worth all the knowledge I have gathered, and experiences I have had so far. My definitions have done nothing but expand and have become even more diverse and complex… which is a good thing.

Me: What have been some of your failures so far on this journey of creating?

Shelia: On any journey, you will have a number of failures. For my creative process, a few of failures for me would include cheating myself with the wrong supplies trying to make it work. There are a few pieces that I have sold that I would love to do again or do with different materials. Also, going to events and not selling many pieces and products is a large failure for me but I know it was great networking regardless. Many times my failures have turned to learning lessons.

Me: I feel like as an artist or creator we all look back at things we’ve created after we’ve grown and want to do things differently. But that’s just apart of growing mentally and in your craft. What kind of work are you most drawn to viewing yourself? Do you find yourself viewing work similar to your own, or completely different?

Shelia: I find myself viewing a range of work, but mostly urban, afro centric, and street abstract or contemporary pieces. When it comes to photography it is similar, except with images, I look at literally everything nothing specific. But with paintings, I focus on crazy bright colors, abstract, mix media work. All types of work honestly.

Me: How do you balance creating and life?

Shelia: I balance creating and life by always implementing creativity into most of what I do. At this point most of what I enjoy involves the arts or creating something. So there is no real balance for me.

Me: Does music play a role in your creative process? If so, what kind or any particular artist, etc.?

Shelia: Yes music plays a role in my everyday process. I think everyone can agree that music pays a huge role in this generation. Depending on my mood, I like everything from Lauryn Hill to Cardi B, I listen to a range of music. It truly depends on how I’m feeling and what mood I am in.

Me: How do you motivate yourself to keep creating or does it just come naturally?

Shelia: I motivate myself by staying focused and busy. More free time you have, the more your mind wanders away from your focus. So creating is almost in everything I do daily.

Me: How do you get people to interact with your work? How do you gain your audience? Do you find social media beneficial for that?

Shelia: Social Media is a large platform that helps people interact with my work. I post my art work on both of my pages. As well as on Facebook, it also helps me show my work to others. I am trying to get my Etsy shop open so that is another outlet source to sell my work.

Me: Some creators are also active in other creative areas, what are some of your favorite creative activities besides what we’ve discussed?

Shelia: I didn’t get into it much, but I want to get back into batiking and dying fabric for sure. I also used to braid hair as well as sew, but I haven’t done them in a while. Most of the creative activities I do, I try to incorporate into everything I produce.

Me: What advice would you give someone who is interested in starting their own business or brand for the first time? What advice would you give to someone who is pursuing their dreams and talents?

Shelia: If you are pursuing your dreams and talents, I will always tell others to make sure you keep following your dreams no matter your age or your insecurities. Don’t let others opinions stop you or slow you down. Always network and try to get a mentor who will help you and guide you. When it comes to starting your own brand, invest it in, take time out to really make sure this is what you want. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There will be set backs but it’s all in the process.

Me: Excluding yourself, are there any people in the world that you admire? Any people in general that inspire or motivate you?

Shelia: I get A LOT of my motivation and inspiration from a lot of the people I associate myself with, other artists, entrepreneurs, and creatives. I could drop plenty of names from family to celebs, but a hard working woman is simply inspiring as well.

Me: If you could change just one thing about our society through your work, what would it be?

Shelia: Now, I try to incorporate social, cultural and political issues in my art work that are major in the media because they are very important especially for the younger generation. I would want others especially younger kids to gain a better understanding of mental health and self worth within themselves and their community through my work. For example my Caution Series features thoughts that provoke me when I think of “caution” in society.

Me: What makes your artwork unique?

Shelia: I would describe my work as unique, because it isn’t one set style at all, it is almost always a mix of mediums in a single piece. My mind provokes all different styles. So as I continue to grow there will be growth in technique and a range of displays.

Me: As a creative individual, do you believe that you perceive the world differently from other people? What role do you think emotions play in your creative process?

Shelia: I feel as though everyone views the world differently, I do believe creatives and artists have a deeper perception of the world and can dive into their thoughts and mind a little more. As someone who is very emotional and sensitive but has a hard exterior, emotion plays a major role in your creative process. For everyone it is different but before I took the time out for myself, I let my emotions control my creative process. I would only produce art when I was mad or sad and it was bothering me. I had to realize that I can’t let that emotion control how my energy and thoughts flow.

Me: Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Shelia: In 5 years, I hope to see my work whether it’s my photography or artwork on a larger scale. In homes, in businesses and collabs with brands. I also see myself out of Philly hopefully. As well as developing my brand more to make it one cohesive collective. Lastly, in 5 years, I would love to develop my craft and perfect some techniques and learn new ones I can incorporate into my artwork.

Me: Fun fact about yourself?

Shelia: A fun fact about me is that I am left handed, I take pride in that, there aren’t many of us out here and most are creatives.

Me: Anything else you’d like to share? Advice, tips, motivation, etc.

Shelia: As someone who was LOST a year ago, focused on my relationship and making sure someone else was happy and “okay”, I literally lost myself. Woman or Man, please take time to find yourself and what makes you truly happy and inspired. Don’t get lost in the daily routines that you don’t focus on your goals and dreams. Stop making excuses for what makes you happy.

Me: I definitely feel that! Self-love is the best love and first love you should have. Drop your socials so we can be sure to follow you!

Shelia: Instagram : @s___dott (personal page) @sheshot_you

Twitter: @sheshot_you

Website coming soon.

Thanks for allowing us to take a peek into your life and many crafts Shelia!

Related Post:

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Discussing Motherhood with Katrina

“Journeying Through Motherhood”

Katrina: A Mother

Today, I’ve had the pleasure of taking a virtual seat with Katrina who was lovely enough to share her experiences of motherhood with me.

Me: Thanks for having a virtual seat with me and choosing to discuss this amazing thing called motherhood. First and foremost, how does it feel to have grown and nurtured two little humans so far?

Katrina: It feels weird because there are so many things that I wasn’t willing to do but it was something my kids love and enjoy but other times it feels amazing because I am able to experience things I never thought were possible.

Me: Tell us a bit about yourself. Tell us a bit about your children, how old are they?

Katrina: Well I am a veteran of the Air Force married 7+ years and I have 2 children and (2 bonus children) through marriage. I am a future entrepreneur. My son Tahir, is four and he is on the autism spectrum so it makes things challenging but he is progressing along very well. My daughter Anaya is 5, she is a princess and everything in her world is about cotton candy and rainbows. She is an honor roll student, caring and empathetic. My 11 year old son lives with his mom in Atlanta, he is mentally gifted and is 2 reading levels ahead and 3 math levels ahead. He loves to dye his hair and play video games. My oldest daughter is 6 she is intelligent and loves to play.

Me: How did you feel or react when you first found out you were expecting your first child? Did you have that same reaction or feel differently with your second?

Katrina: When I found out I was having my first child I was married and traveling to a new country so I cried because I realized everything I planned was definitely not a factor anymore. With my second child I didn’t cry but I wasn’t really excited either none of them were planned. But I’m glad they are here.

Me: How did your first born react to having a younger sibling?

Katrina: My oldest son was overly excited about his younger siblings because he wanted to teach them to dance and play the game. My daughter was excited about the baby after he came, she was oblivious while I was pregnant because she was still getting used to being in the US.

Me: So far, what would you say is your favorite part about being a mother?

Katrina: The best part of being a mother for me would be seeing my children showing off their skills and talents without begging for attention.

Me: What advice can you give to someone who is about to have their first child and mother’s in general? What are some things we may encounter?

Katrina: Before getting angry just take a step back and remember to slow down and help them to reach the goal, it’s practice that gets them where we want them. Putting in the work now smiling through the frustration and communicating with them at their level not the level you believe they are or feel like they should be. PATIENCE!

Me: Did you have any symptoms before you found out you were pregnant? If so, what were they? How did you find out you were pregnant?

Katrina: I had mood swings but didn’t realize it was because of pregnancy like I was volatile while pregnant with my daughter because I honestly never wanted to get pregnant but subconsciously wanted to know if my husband wanted a child I could provide.

Me: It takes a lot to raise a child, go to work, and do whatever else it is that needs to be done. But Mommy’s also want to have fun every now and then. How do you juggle life and raising children?

Katrina: My life is raising my children honestly, trying to be a better me for them is a must.

Me: Do you have any hobbies or things you enjoy doing? How do you fit in “me time” for yourself?

Katrina: I have tons of skills and hobbies, since I became a Mommy I don’t focus on me time because kids don’t understand Mommy time.

Me: Self-care is really important, especially for mothers who may definitely need a break from running around like crazy. What kind of self-care techniques do you use to refrain from becoming overwhelmed? Most importantly, what do you do to relax and get your mental together?

Katrina: I like to meditate and do hair and makeup, sewing, and reading business endeavors. Honestly I have yet to figure out a system for not being overwhelmed I’m a single mother of 2.

Me: How is the transition? Going from being someone’s child to someone’s parent.

Katrina: Scary because you have to be aware of your responsibility to teach them how to do things and how to process certain things and at the end of the day Mommy knows best even if she doesn’t know it all.

Me: How were your pregnancies? Did you have morning sickness or any complications? Did you have any food cravings?

Katrina: With Anaya , severe morning sickness ate fruit veggies salads grape soda pizza and hot wings every day damn near. With Tahir, Brazilian and Thai restaurants while in Korea, basically I ate horribly with my son but morning sickness was sooooo mild but when it came it was heavy then stopped completely

Me: Reflecting back on the person you were in your teenage years and even before pregnancy. How would you say being a mother has changed that?

Katrina: I’m more conscious of what type of energy and company I want around me.

Me: What is the hardest thing about motherhood?

Katrina: Waiting for your hard work from a goal to be reached (walking, writing, reading).

Me: Did you have a birth plan (natural, medicated, etc.)? How did you end up giving birth?

Katrina: Natural was my plan both times, I ended up having meds every time but I know better now.

Me: We all worry and motherhood increases that worry 10x. What’s your biggest worry about your children’s future? And as a mother, what’s your biggest fear about the journey of motherhood?

Katrina: The biggest fear for me with my children vary for each child because they have their weaknesses. Anaya she wants to believe that people always tell you the truth especially adults. Tahir he is autistic and his temper scares me and his inability to control or express emotions.

Me: One thing you never had that you want for you kid/kid(s) if you choose/want to have more in the future?

Katrina: Consistency.

Me: How important do you think it is for new mothers and mothers in general to have support through pregnancy and motherhood?

Katrina: Extremely important to know you’re not alone and there are people around you that can help, support, or just listen to help you get through a tough time.

Me: Did you have an idea of what being a mother would feel like? How has that changed since being a mother yourself?

Katrina: Yes because I took care of all my younger siblings at some point in their lives and did it all (pick them up, drop them off, cook, shop, educated) I feel like I do all those but effortlessly.

Me: Would you say your relationship has changed with your partner/baby’s father since becoming a mother?

Katrina: Drastically.

Me: Did you find it weird when people touched your belly?

Katrina: No loved it; embracing life at its most precious phase.

Me: You’re in a crowded restaurant sitting down to eat and your kid starts throwing a tantrum. What do you do?

Katrina: Find out what they want, they are children trying to understand emotions and feelings and all kinds of things most adults can’t process.

Me: How do you bond and strengthen your relationship with your children?

Katrina: We read together, learn together, and spend time when they ask.

Me: Did you plan to breastfeed, bottle-feed, or both? Why or why not? Which did you end up doing?

Katrina: Breastfeed because it was healthy, natural, and forced me to be mindful of what I did to my body so I couldn’t harm my babies. I ended up doing both.

Me: Craziest or funniest thing you’ve googled so far about pregnancy or motherhood?

Katrina: Homeopathic treatments for crying babies while pregnant.

Me: Anything else you want to share about pregnancy or motherhood? Advice, tips, etc.?

Katrina: There will be times where you feel like you can’t take it or you can’t understand why your children act like they don’t have any sense no matter what you say or do, but remember they are mimicking you. Have a friend that when you need to do REAL PARENTING problems because they know you’re venting and won’t judge.

Thanks for sharing Katrina and letting us take a peek into your life!

Latest Related Post:

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.

Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram!

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

A Letter to My Black Son

Dear Beautiful Black Son,

Being a mother comes with a huge responsibility. But being a mother to a Black Boy comes with a lot more. I now see why some people prefer tu-tu’s and bows because bow ties and suits are much harder to protect. We have shared a body for almost 7 months and as selfish as it sounds the thought of you not being in a place where I know you are safe and shielded from the cruel ways of the world frightens me. I am both scared and anxious, anxious to meet you and teach you all the things I know, scared because you overwhelm me in the best ways possible. I can teach you that skin color doesn’t matter but then I’d be lying because it does.

This is already a written apology because I’m sorry you’ll have to fight so hard to prove your worthiness, innocence, intelligence, and maybe even your humanity. It’s my purpose to set you up with the tools necessary for success regardless of race but along with that comes a mental book of unwritten rules for black men. Don’t wear a hoodie, don’t walk alone at night, and as much as you may want one don’t play with toy guns. It won’t matter what you have, who you are, what kind of family you come from, or how educated you are. It won’t matter what shade of Black you are, people will only see the color of your skin.

As your mother, it is up to me to help make sense of it all but how can I make sense of things I don’t even understand myself. But my son know this, you are a force. You are a force to be reckoned with and as much as I wish I could stand on the battle grounds with you at all times, I can only equip you with the tools to win. Know your history, but don’t let it hinder you from taking the risk on opportunities and chasing your dreams. Know that you are greatness even when the world may make you feel otherwise. Your skin is gold and beautifully enriched. And when you have conversations with other children of other ethnicities and realize their mother didn’t have this conversation with them, know that you are wonderfully made and never fear that you are different or don’t fit in because you are unique. I hope that you can enjoy all the gifts that life has to offer and I pray you never feel the pain of being judged because you “fit the description” or you don’t. It’s true, jobs may turn you down, people may treat you differently but you will be instilled with a confidence that can’t be shaken or rocked. I look at my brothers, my father, all the Black men in our family, all of the Black men I know, I look at your father, and it pains me a little each time they walk out the door because I can’t protect them. Their mother’s at one point had to tell them not to do certain things out of fear they wouldn’t make it home. I will want to hold you tight and never let you go out of fear that you my son will fall victim to another hashtag. But it’s not about what I can’t do, it’s about what I can.

It is my purpose to instill you with the greatest examples of love and nurturing and my boy you are loved beyond measures. With each kick to my abdomen you fill up a space I never knew needed to be filled. My only hope is that you will walk in your power and never let the world bring you to your knees unless you are praying to God. Do you realize how special you are? There are people who may dislike you because they want to be just like you. They want your hair, your melanin, your vernacular, you are already something spectacular. My little black boy, the world doesn’t know that you already have the knowledge, skill, confidence, and the highest level of self-love to lead the future. Or maybe they do and that’s what they fear. There is nothing barbaric or animalistic about you; know that not everyone is against you but we aware of those who are.

You are more than a color, you are not your skin but your skin will help mold you into who you are. You will be many things you will have your own personality, you will be you. And I will love you through all the world may put you through. I will love you when you’re sad, happy, and a little in between. I will teach you many things and hope I teach you enough to make the right decisions in life. I pray that when you are old enough to comprehend that the world is a lot more softer, less judgmental, and equality is actually equal. Most importantly, I pray that you will rise above and grow old and have your own family. I pray that my words comfort you and when my voice can no longer be heard, you can still hear all that I’ve spoken. You are more than history has made you out to be, you are my son, the son of a Queen, the one who will move mountains. When the world digs its claws in you, I will forever be your mother and the one you can lean on. It is my will to protect you to the best of my ability, and since I can’t do it physically, you will reign emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Everything you will ever need will be inside of you, you just have to work through life to find it. It breaks my heart to have to prepare you for the world in this way but you will be okay, believe in yourself; and when you have doubts I will be your number one supporter rooting for you.

Love, Mommy.

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

Want to read on how I found out I was pregnant and some of my first trimester symptoms? Check out “Bit by The Baby Bug, Now What?” and “First Trimester – The I Still Can’t Believe It Stages of Pregnancy.“

Also be sure to read my first interview with a Mommy who shared her own experiences with motherhood “Discussing Motherhood with a Mommy with Attitude.”

Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram! Stay in the loop by following the blog Instagram @chooseyoualways.

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

I’m Almost In My What!?

It’s definitely not a lie when people tell you that pregnancy flies. I don’t know if it’s just me but these weeks are passing me by. It’s insane to think that I’ll be in my third trimester shortly. Pregnancy weeks and months are always confusing to understand but I believe the third trimester starts around weeks 27-28 according to different sources but either way I’ll be 26 weeks tomorrow and it’s still shocking. If you ask me I was just sitting in my bathroom finding out I was pregnant.

If you’re wondering how pregnancy feels at this point, I have lost all visual contact with my lady parts, yup, I can’t see my vagina anymore but hey that means baby is growing, growing, and growing.

Back aches and heart burn are just…Well let’s just say when they kick in this gif explains my mood, and please don’t let them kick in at the same time, it’s a recipe for disaster. Morning sickness is gone, it disappeared around weeks 12-13 when I entered my second trimester but nausea has decided it’s sticking around. If you ask me, feeling sick all day is far worst than actually throwing up and getting it over with. Headaches come and go, some days worst than others.

Not to mention today I was introduced to nose bleeds and I thought I was dying. I like to believe I’m not as dramatic as I sound but it was pretty scary. I was brushing my teeth and for the last couple of days I’ve been getting sick, the usual sore throat, runny nose, sneezing, head pressure, runny eyes, etc. so I coughed up a little mucus, coughed as if I was going to throw up and BOOM blood bath. It was like a faucet was turned on, so yeah I had an interesting start to my morning. I immediately called my mom in the bathroom. I felt like freaking out on in the inside but managed to keep my composure on the outside. It’s safe to say you shouldn’t sleep with the heater on when your nose is already stuffed up, the thing is I had just got up and turned it off because I felt my nose was dry and clogged but apparently I was too late. The bummer is I can’t do much but drink tea and let the cold pass.

Baby boy now moves a ton and I can actually see his movement, I no longer have to convince him “to do a flip” he moves on his own and sometimes quite a lot to where I’m starting to think he’s in there having a party. Nevertheless it’s amazing to experience and I love when he moves, especially when he responds to me placing my hand on my stomach or purposely jabbing his place of residence to get him to move around. He’s stubborn when it comes to letting me record him move but I was able to get one short video for keepsake so far. He has about 14 more weeks of me harassing him while he’s in the womb and a lifetime to go once he’s born. As far as anything that involves bending over like tying shoes, clipping toenails, and picking up things that have fallen, it’s became a hassle and I’m not even carrying that big. I went from wondering when I’d have a baby bump to “well hello there,” I’m officially a side sleeper; some days my stomach is bigger than others, it’s all apart of the process. Oh and the swelling is real, my ankles and lower legs have been welcomed to the “sit your a** down club” because that’s what you’ll need to do.

As far as what’s to come, I have yet to take my sugar/glucose test, I’ve heard varied feedback on that, some people are able to drink it quickly, some gag, some throw up, some take their time and get it done. I’ll be finding out in 2 weeks, fingers crossed I’m not one who throws up. I will say my pregnancy has been smooth sailing thus far besides the random aches and pains but the first trimester is always the hardest I feel like with the constant all day sickness I had. I still get tired and will opt to sleep over anything else but not as bad as it was in my first trimester. I’m approaching the third trimester and I’m a mixture of scared and excited. Scared because shortly I will officially be someone’s mother and excited because well, I’ll be someone’s mother. Such a big responsibility but I have faith that things will be A-okay. All in all pregnancy feels like a ton of different emotions and feelings (both mentally and physically). Some days you will have all the energy in the world and others you won’t feel like doing anything but crashing because trust me getting out of the bed in the morning is a job itself these days; growing a human is hard work.

“To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched – along with body – making pregnancy a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings.”

– Anne Christian Buchanan

Want to read on how I found out I was pregnant and some of my first trimester symptomes? Check out “Bit by The Baby Bug, Now What?” and “First Trimester – The I Still Can’t Believe It Stages of Pregnancy.“

Also be sure to read my first interview with a Mommy who shared her own experiences with motherhood “Discussing Motherhood with a Mommy with Attitude.”

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

The last 4 weeks of pregnancy:

Taking a Virtual Seat With Jasmin

Hey guys and welcome back to the blog! Today I had to stop through and share an interview I had the pleasure to do with blogger and poet, Jasmin Marie.

Creators & Entrepreneurs

a closer look into creativity & business.

Me: First and foremost thanks for having a virtual seat with me! You’re a creator, you write, you speak, your words resonate and make an impact. When did you realize you loved to write or had this talent?

Jasmin: I realized I loved to write when I was younger. Had to be in my teens and I’m not sure why I distinctly remember this but I do lol. But anyways I was on my porch and had a notebook with me and I was just sitting there chilling. Observing everything around me and I can remember feeling content. I was really happy that day. I started to write a poem about the day and I think I went distinctly into detail about a tree. I wish I had the poem still but I knew then I was blessed with a very special gift. I also used to write stories (even though I never would finish them). Writing was my own personal escape from everything.

Me: Putting yourself out into the world is always nerve wrecking. I personally feel like it’s nothing more intimate than poetry. Writing and blogging is also intimate but poetry always evokes a different feeling. Were you nervous to put your work out into the world? Tell us a little about your poetry.

Jasmin: I was extremely nervous because poetry for me is very intimate. These are like my deepest thoughts and I’m unsure of how they will be internalized. I want people to be able to resonate with what I’m writing about. My poetry is about love. Love in general. Love for myself and love for others. Love other people share. But on the other side of the spectrum it is also about pain. What I, or even someone else may have gone through or be going through. I want my poetry to continue to grow and for my writing skills to get better.

Me: You also blog, where/what can we find on your blog? What was your purpose behind creating it? Tell our readers a little about yourself and what you put out into the world through your writings.

Jasmin: Yes, I have a blog!!! You can find my blog at www.jasminmarie.net and on my blog you can find regular lifestyle posts about different topics that come to mind, not anything specific. Also, on my blog I do interviews, “JasTalks” so I’m definitely anticipating our interview Bre! And I also cover different events in Philly I attend. I created my blog because for one it was something I always wanted to do but when it came to designing the blog, I would get so frustrated I was just like f*** this I’m not doing this anymore. But I eventually got past my stubbornness and realized this is where my heart is, writing. I want to write and I want to brand myself. I want to be able to express myself and share stories about things and people that mean most to me. Through my writings I release thoughts that I am thinking and hope to start a conversation. I am also aiming for people to be inspired. I want them to be reassured that they’re not the only person going through something and that I understand, I feel how you feel and I respect that. I just want a community of people who keep it a hunnid with one another.

Jasmin: Self-care is such a hot topic right now lol. But some self-care techniques I use is writing of course lol. I have a journal I write in or I’ll write in my phone. I also have begun meditating (struggling with doing it daily but I’m doing it!) it really helps to center me. I light candles. Do a face mask and relax for a while, even watching tv helps me unwind. Music, music is always a go-to for me. Puts me right where I need to be every time.

Me: Do you self-reflect or keep a journal or do you spill your thoughts through your poetry or both? Why or why not?

Jasmin: Personally, I do both. In my journal I am able to go more into detail about what I feel/going through and also helps me to realize what I personally need to take away from it and learn from. Everything you experience is an opportunity to learn. When I write poems they are about how I feel literally at that exact moment. The way they work 9/10 times is I come up with a few lines that flow and then just start writing afterwards and the key for me is to write it immediately or I’ll lose it. Like I’ve literally been driving and writing a poem because I can hear in my head how dope it sounds and I have to write it out asap. Doing both help me so much and are both able to bring me peace of mind.

Me: Is it just me, or do you sometimes get writers block? What do you do to get you in the right mood to create? What’s your ideal work environment?

Jasmin: For me personally, what I’ve realized is that I’ll have writers block because I don’t want to put something out for the sake of putting something out. I need it to mean something. So currently I don’t put any pressure on myself to write. I write when I am ready to and that is when I am most authentic and raw. My ideal work environment would be a room with many plants and lights with some candles lit and some music playing, that’s what brings me the most peace when I need to write.

Me: What does “being creative,” mean to you?

Jasmin: Being a creative to me means expressing yourself and every way you see and need fit. Not conforming to what you or others think you should be doing and doing things just to do them. For instance, when I was younger I used to write songs and for whatever reason I stopped. Now I am starting to get back into and it’s for me to gain satisfaction for myself. I like to write songs so that’s what I’m going to do. Being a creative to me means not letting fear stop you from venturing into other avenues.

Me: Your poetry page goes by Queencocorose. Where did the name come from?

Jasmin: The name is something I came up with kind of on a whim lol. I wanted something that described me so; Queen is because I am a Queen. I hold myself to a high standard. Coco is to describe my complexion. I used to hate, literally hate, being dark skinned. Eventually, I overcame that insecurity and embraced my complexion. I love my dark rich complexion and wouldn’t change that at all. Rose, I used to describe myself emotionally in a way. I am sweet and delicate. Beautiful in all ways.

Me: When I used to write poetry a lot, my work stemmed from a place of pain and a place of love, being in love mostly. Where does your poetry arise from?

Jasmin: It is the same for me. I write either out of pain or love. But I also write about how I feel someone else feels. Kind of in a way writing for them. Being their voice.

Me: What are some of the goals you hope to achieve with your writings? Are your blog and poetry just a hobby or something you hope to take far in life?

Jasmin: My goals is to connect with people and be able to inspire each other and grow. I feel like we all can learn from one another and that’s what I want to do. My blog and poetry will go far in life if I put my intent behind it. I am a very talented person. I literally can do anything I set my mind to.

Me: Do you have a specific audience you gear your writing towards, or can everyone read and take something away from it?

Jasmin: Anyone can and hopefully takes something away from my writing. I would say I am a very emotional writer so I hope that men don’t take offense to what I write but use it as a lesson for themselves. Maybe it’ll help them understand something about a relationship they’ve had or have that they didn’t understand before. I just want everyone to read and take something away from it.

Me: Has your idea of what poetry and blogging is changed since you’ve started doing both?

Jasmin: To me they are 2 separate things because I am more in tune with my emotions when I write poetry. With blogging I am looking to interact and help teach lessons and share my life experience.

Me: What kind of work are you most drawn to reading yourself? Do you find yourself reading work similar to your own, or completely different?

Jasmin: I am a hopeless romantic, so I love fiction romantic books and also inspirational books to help grow as an individual. I read work similar to mine but from better writers who in my opinion have a much more extended vocabulary. That is something I am working towards presently.

Jasmin: I tried to hold myself to a schedule and couldn’t do it and would beat myself up about it so now I write when I want to write and that has been working for me. A lot less stressful for me as well lol. I just write when I am ready to and just do what makes me happy at that present moment.

Me: How do you motivate yourself to keep the blog up and running?

Jasmin: I motivate myself by thinking of different ideas to write about and how I can best present myself. At the end of the day my blog is my journey and one of many ways to express who I am and that’s what I am going to do.

Me: What have been some of your failures so far on this journey?

Jasmin: Not receiving the attention I’d like or support. I was just talking about this with one of my friends and its crazy how you follow so many people on IG for example but they won’t support what you are doing creatively but will like a picture of a quote or a picture of yourself. So not getting the views I’d like and not working with any brands yet makes me feel sometimes like I should quit. No one is interested in what I have to say but at the end of the day it isn’t about that, it is about me sharing my journey because I want to and even if it inspires one person that is enough satisfaction for me.

Me: How do you get people to interact with your work? How do you gain your audience? Do you find social media beneficial for that?

Jasmin: I am still learning to do this but at this point I know I need to truly be myself. In every shape way form and be confident expressing that to the world. But I also have to be conscious of what people want to see and even go as far as what they are going through that they need someone to help them with. Social media is a great tool to gain your audience because you literally can meet so many different creative and unique people. I intern doing social media for @vitalitymeditation and I love being able to help tell a story and so far in my journey I realized people love stories and enjoy being sucked into a narrative. I love that.

Me: Some poets/writers are also active in other creative areas, what are some of your favorite non-poetry/literature activities?

Jasmin: At the moment, I would say I am still learning this about myself. I used to dance awhile back so I am interested in getting back into dance. I also am ready to get into photographer and like not do anything crazy lol but just try it out. I love art and photos and it would be great to create my own images.

Me: What advice would you give someone who is interested in starting their own blog or sharing their poetry for the first time? What advice would you give to someone who is pursuing their dreams and talents?

Jasmin: Do not be afraid of being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is so healing for yourself and allows you to shed so much unnecessary weight. If you want to start a blog, start it. If you want to write poetry, do it. Do not stand in your own way because you are capable of anything you want to do. You control your mind and if you are putting all your intent into what you are doing than that is all that matters. Don’t compare yourself to other and go at your own pace. Your dreams and your talents are literally just that, YOURS, so trust your journey.

Me: Excluding yourself, are there any people such as writers, poets, etc. in the world that you admire? Any people in general that inspire or motivate you?

Jasmin: Yes, literally so many lol. I love John Green, Maya Angelou, Nicholas Sparks. I look up to a lot of people. So many people pull on different heart strings. I love Vicky Logan, she is a YouTuber and I’ve been following her journey for a while. I love her because of how authentic she is yet I know it’s hard for her to still reveal certain parts of herself. She’s great. I also love Michell Clark. He has his own website/brand and I look forward to getting his emails every Tuesday along with the playlists he curates for them. He offers great tips and is a very creative writer.

Me: If you could change just one thing about our society through your writings, what would it be?

Jasmin: We need to honestly get off our phones and communicate more. In my opinion, it is why we are so afraid to TRULY be ourselves and be vulnerable because we are always hiding behind a phone, a tablet, a laptop or whatever. We are able to mask ourselves and create a certain perception but it’s important for us to take a step back and check in with ourselves and with the people around us.

Me: What makes your writing unique?

Jasmin: My writing is unique because it evokes emotion. But like really deep emotions but flows like music. I love that. Sometimes I feel like I’m a rapper lol

Me: Fun fact about yourself?

Jasmin: I’ve wanted to go to Barcelona since I was a little girl because I watched the Cheetah girls movie lol. I’m definitely going one day.

Me: Drop your socials so we can be sure to follow you!

Jasmin: @jasminmarie___ (3 underscores) on Twitter and IG

Thanks for allowing us to take a peek into your life Jas!

Secondly, a third book is in the making and set to release soon, my first urban novel. If you haven’t already read the snippets, click below.

Last but not least, being as though I am expecting and I am a soon to be mama, I had to represent for the little ones. You can now shop for baby clothes with me @mumstyledme on Instagram!

Be sure to subscribe to the blogs monthly newsletter!

Thanks for reading, Be Blessed & Stay Humble. As always Choose You Always!

The New Month Mood?

Hey guys welcome back to the blog! It’s a new month and with new months usually comes new goals and new motivation. Just because it’s a new month doesn’t mean we’re all in the new month mindset. In fact, some of us might be feeling a little down, unmotivated, or simply uninterested in setting new goals and pursuing them or crossing off old goals we didn’t get a chance to achieve yet. Some don’t even set goals and find their motivation by just getting things done when they feel like it, but subconsciously we all have things we want to get done and things we plan to do whether big or small.

I’m one of those people who weren’t necessarily in the new month mindset when the month rolled in. For one, it came at the end of the week and work has been a little hectic as of lately. I do Behavioral Health Work inside of a school with 1st – 4th grade and boy oh boy do those children give you a run for your money. Nevertheless I still made it a goal to blog but the 1st came and went, I told myself Sunday night I’d write and I was actually quite motivated until I sat down for a while and got tired and all the motivation went out the window. But here it is Tuesday morning and I’m choosing to write while on my way into work.

Sometimes things call for our focus so we can’t dedicate time to some of the other things we’d like to. At times I find myself upset because I couldn’t cross a goal off but really there’s no need to be upset about it because I know it will get done just not at the time I planned. A checked off goal is better than leaving it incomplete or not done at all. So don’t feel like your month is starting off wrong if you don’t find yourself in an upbeat mood or with a list of goals. Having a good day or making it a habit to think positively is a good enough. Although it’s unrealistic to have a good day every single day, how you internalize things are always important. When it comes to goals my motto is, the only thing that matters is how things end, not how they start. Even some of the most amazing masterpieces started off with a rough draft. So let’s make things happen on our own pace this month! Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel like you have to be at a certain point or doing something that you aren’t and can’t do right now. Take your time and get things done how you deem fit.

I get the whole sentiment of pushing motivation on people each week and every month because often times we truly need it. Hearing it or seeing it from other people can be beneficial when we can’t motivate ourselves. But it’s also important to realize that at times no matter how many motivational post we see or motivational speeches we see it just doesn’t click and that’s okay. Life happens, we’re allowed to have those up and down moments because like I said it only matters how things end so what matters is how you bounce back! So here’s to a month of rebuilding, finding that motivation, and thinking positively.

If you walk into a new month with the same mindset and that mindset isn’t necessarily a good one, let yourself be great and develop a new mood and mindset when you feel ready, no pressure.

Thanks for reading, be sure to check out my first interview with a fellow Mommy on her experience with motherhood – “Discussing Motherhood with a “Mommy With Attitude”

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